[Ever since his titanic battle with BOTH Derrick L. Ford and Maurice Thompson at Cornerstone Revolution V, little has been seen or heard from the American Freebear. Thus we actively seek out our Grand Champion back at his home in Florida during the DCWL hiatus, the same home from which we reported everything that we reported on him previously so that we may report on him some more. Or something.]
"Yip."
[He's drinking from one of his German steins. The beer is local, though.]
"That was a pretty good tussle I had with the Thompson feller. Mighty glad I didn't shorten the match or somethin', would've regretted it. Also, the fans would've been peeved too; what kind of hero tells the fans they want LESS for their money? But, yip..."
[Takes another sip.]
"PER-TEE good battle this was..."
[And then he drinks some more... TO BE CONTINUED!]
...
...
[After those misplaced elipses.]
"BUT THE AMERICAN FREEBEAR IS THE ONLY BEAR THAT FLIES, AND HE IS ***YOUR*** GRAND CHAMPIONSHIP CHAMPION (man, that's always a mouthful) THAT RULES THE DCWL WITH EYES OF AN EAGLE AND GIRTH OF A HIPPOPOTAMOUS AND THIS BEAR YOU CANNOT CHANGE, LORD KNOWS I CAN'T CHANGE!!!!!!"
"A-hem."
[sip]
"So while we are having this high-a-tus, I suggest you all relax. Take some friendly Southern advice (the wisest people in the known universe) and take a breather, grow some muscles over them skinny bones of yours and see if you ever approach the magnuficance of the Flyin' Ursine. Meanwhile, I'll be acting like any right good champion would and drink some beers, maybe do some tours for the Mid-South region and generally show you how wrestling is done."
[And just to illustrate his point, the Freebear cracks another beer, pours its contents into his stein and resumes sipping before continuing.]
"And I'll be back soon enough, flying, vaulting, CARTWHEELING over all my opposition like any good Freebear should! Ain't impressed by either Ford, Thompson or Corella, because when you're the only bear that flies, you're impressive enough as it is: I'll crush you all, splatter your guts akimbo and smash you all to pieces and this bear you cannot change- wait, said that bit already. Man, I am getting repetitive! COME AND GET ME, YOU BIG STINKIN' BASTARDS, NOBODY CAN STOP A BEAR THAT FLIES!!
[He sips. Will we ever return to our series meant to discover what man lies behind the big ball of fur known as the American Freebear? That WOULD be a good subject after all... Until then, we know that the American Freebear is still alive and hasn't left the company now that he's got gold around his waist, and that's good enough.]
"Yip."
[He's drinking from one of his German steins. The beer is local, though.]
"That was a pretty good tussle I had with the Thompson feller. Mighty glad I didn't shorten the match or somethin', would've regretted it. Also, the fans would've been peeved too; what kind of hero tells the fans they want LESS for their money? But, yip..."
[Takes another sip.]
"PER-TEE good battle this was..."
[And then he drinks some more... TO BE CONTINUED!]
...
...
[After those misplaced elipses.]
"BUT THE AMERICAN FREEBEAR IS THE ONLY BEAR THAT FLIES, AND HE IS ***YOUR*** GRAND CHAMPIONSHIP CHAMPION (man, that's always a mouthful) THAT RULES THE DCWL WITH EYES OF AN EAGLE AND GIRTH OF A HIPPOPOTAMOUS AND THIS BEAR YOU CANNOT CHANGE, LORD KNOWS I CAN'T CHANGE!!!!!!"
"A-hem."
[sip]
"So while we are having this high-a-tus, I suggest you all relax. Take some friendly Southern advice (the wisest people in the known universe) and take a breather, grow some muscles over them skinny bones of yours and see if you ever approach the magnuficance of the Flyin' Ursine. Meanwhile, I'll be acting like any right good champion would and drink some beers, maybe do some tours for the Mid-South region and generally show you how wrestling is done."
[And just to illustrate his point, the Freebear cracks another beer, pours its contents into his stein and resumes sipping before continuing.]
"And I'll be back soon enough, flying, vaulting, CARTWHEELING over all my opposition like any good Freebear should! Ain't impressed by either Ford, Thompson or Corella, because when you're the only bear that flies, you're impressive enough as it is: I'll crush you all, splatter your guts akimbo and smash you all to pieces and this bear you cannot change- wait, said that bit already. Man, I am getting repetitive! COME AND GET ME, YOU BIG STINKIN' BASTARDS, NOBODY CAN STOP A BEAR THAT FLIES!!
[He sips. Will we ever return to our series meant to discover what man lies behind the big ball of fur known as the American Freebear? That WOULD be a good subject after all... Until then, we know that the American Freebear is still alive and hasn't left the company now that he's got gold around his waist, and that's good enough.]
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