For his post-match attack on Julian Beckson at "Ruckus in the Rockies," Kid Way Cool was determined to have committed his second offense. Since he is now subject to the whims of management, Kid Way Cool has automatically been booked into a match against Bane at "Fast Cars, Danger, Fire and Knives" in Boise, Idaho.
Following his showing at the last show, Maurice Thompson has been offered a full-time contract with the DCWL. As well, Derrick Ford has accepted his challenge and the two will meet in Boise.
Unique Element and Complete Control are still being evaluated by DCWL management. Their match in Boise is expected to be a big determining factor in whether either or both teams are offered a full-time trio contract.
More information is being released about the Grand Championship. Qualifiers are scheduled to be held at Show #4 ("Citation Needed") with the belt itself to be awarded at Show #5 ("Plunderland '09: Plunder Harder.")
The next defense of the Trios Championship is pencilled in for Show #4, although challengers haven't been named yet. Management is reportedly looking into "non-hobo" trios to face the Annoyed Samoans.
As seen just before "Ruckus in the Rockies," Leon Corella is scheduled to make his DCWL debut at our next show, "Fast Cars, Danger, Fire and Knives," when he takes on The Greatest Athlete Who Ever Lived, Alton West. West is coming off a tough loss to Max Turbo.
Speaking of Max Turbo, management seems to have done a complete 180 on Turbo's prospects after stealing the show at "Ruckus in the Rockies." Turbo is scheduled to take on B.A. Jive for the DCWL Dangerous Championship in Boise.
"Something Better" Wolf Masterson's ankle is fully healed and he is expected to return for "Fast Cars, Danger, Fire and Knives."
ROSTER
Added Full-time: Maurice "The Native" Thompson, Leon Corella
Injuries: Brian Irwin tweaked his right knee in his match with Bane and is listed as day-to-day. He still expects to be in attendance for the next show.
Departures: Denis Cyr has expressed disappointment with the way he has performed over the last two shows and has asked to be removed from future bookings for the near future.
SCHEDULE
War of the Words – August 5, 2009 (Flashes due Tuesday, August 4, 2009, 11:59 pm EST)
Show #3 – “Fast Cars, Danger, Fire and Knives” August 12, 2009 – Boise, Idaho
BANE v. KID WAY COOL
LEON CORELLA (debut!) v. ALTON WEST
COMPLETE CONTROL v. UNIQUE ELEMENT
B.A. JIVE v. MAX TURBO - DCWL Dangerous Championship
MAURICE THOMPSON v. DERRICK FORD
Plus! BLUE Matsuyama! (No really! This time for real!) Wolf Masterson returns! Kid Way Cool steals someone else's theme song! Dan Clear probably pays more hoboes wooden nickels to fight for him!
Show #4 – “Citation Needed” September 2, 2009 – Edmonton, Alberta
The Trio Championship is defended!
Grand Championship match qualifiers.
Show #5 – “Plunderland ’09: Plunder Harder” September 23, 2009 – Calgary, Alberta
The DCWL Grand Champion is crowned!
Show #6 – “Overdrawn at the Memory Bank” October 14, 2009 – Bismark, North Dakota
Show #7 – “Death of a Ladies' Man” November 4, 2009 – Thunder Bay, Ontario
Show #8 – “Drink Black Hole Brew” November 25, 2009 – Sioux Falls, South Dakota
Show #9 – “Ark of Tri-ocalypse” December 16, 2009 – St. Paul, Minnesota
[The scene begins with a dramatic view of a solitary figure sitting in a folding chair, in the middle of an empty wrestling arena. A single light shines down upon that ring, casting dramatic shadows over his powerful frame. His attire consists of a black T-shirt decorated in golden tribal designs, centered around a blood spattered, golden barbwire crown with the name "CORELLA" stenciled in silver, blood stained, old english letters, black wrestling tights decorated in a matching tribal and barbwire crown theme, heavy black knee and elbow pads, black wrestling boots with golden kick pads, and white tape around his wrists and palms. His cleft chin rests now upon those clasped knuckles, elbows propped upon his knees, as he sits there with a deep, contemplative look upon his face, strands of his short, neatly parted blond hair hanging in his face, sideburns framing either side of it. A deep, dry voice sounds out as the camera begins to circle the man.]
V/O- Once upon a time there was a man sitting high upon his throne. He was the ruler of his domain, a proud and fierce warrior-king who stood strong against all who dared to cross him. Hammer in hand, he dealt out brutality and violence to those who he deemed worthy of his vengeance...
[...The scene transitions to a brief shot of the man in similar ring gear, sledge hammer in hand, breaking a bloodied and battered Jack Venus's right hand with a brutal sledge hammer blow. His eyes were filled with pure psychotic rage. The scene quickly snaps back to the man sitting in the middle of the ring...]
....He saw himself as the greatest man who ever lived...
[...Now the scene gives way yet again to the past, this time to that man standing in the middle of the ring in similar ring attire, microphone in hand, speaking to a massively crowded arena...]
Man- I am the Gold Standard by which all men should be tried and measured against! In this ring, I have no equal... I am The only man alive today who can call himself THE PERFECT ONE....
[...Back to the present scene...]
V/O- ...but his perfection was an illusion brought about by great pride in his own gifts, as well as intense jealousy of, and bitterness towards the success of those he felt far beneath him.
[...Another candid scene of the past, only this one was not originally aired on Television. He was now dressed in a fine pressed business suit, and was sitting at a desk before former IGA owner, Ms. Kendra Taylor, also dressed in a grey business suit. She was speaking to him...]
Taylor- Mr. Corella, we cannot afford your antics. In two weeks time, you've managed to injure several top name superstars in a petty act of revenge!
[She pounds her fist upon the desktop as if it to provide an exclaimation point.]
Corella- They attacked me the week before...
Taylor- Only because you prevoked them!
[His eyes flashed with anger, and his jaw was set...]
Corella- They screwed me and the IGA over in what could have been THE BIGGEST NIGHT OF MY CAREER!!!
[...He quickly lept to his feet, and Taylor hopped to hers, leaning over her desk...]
Taylor- This is wrestling, honey. Screw jobs are part of the business. This is why you are going nowhere, Corella, and Your
[...Kendra holds up her fingers in mock Qoutations...]
"Nemesis"....
[...Then drops her palms right back on the desktop...]
....Tommy Danger is a prime example of a professional. He's patient, professional, and knows his place. You're a loud mouth at the bottom of a very tall ladder. The only thing keeping you down, is you. So I say again...
[She points her finger at the man...]
If you don't control your temper, then you will always be at the bottom... Get used to it...
[...Corella then grabbed the edge of her desk. She barely manages to step back in time before he flings the heavy, oak wood furniture piece, along with her paperwork and valuables sitting atop its, against the nearby wall with surprisingly little effort, getting a rare startle out of the normally stalwart business woman...]
Corella- You dare to give me a lecture and compare me to a past his prime HACK of a wrestler?! FUCK YOU AND YOUR GODDAMNED COMPANY!!! You can take Tommy Danger and shove him up your ass!!! Like I need your money bad enough to take this shit lying down!!
[...and with that he storms out in a furious fashion, the final shot of Ms. Taylor taking in a deep sigh of relief. The scene returns to the ring, where Corella still sits silent as the voice continues...]
V/O- ...He was far from perfect, his failings having little do with with his ability, but instead with his own spirit. Time had killed that spirit inch, by inch, until he finally realized that he was as empty as the boasts he made time and time again...
[...Yet another scene, another one not aired on television. Corella sat now in a private locker room of a different company, tears streaming down his angry face. Running his fingers through his then long hair, he dips forward...]
Corella- I just once... JUST ONCE... want something to go my way!! JUST FUCKING ONCE!!!!
[...A young punk styled wrestler walks past him with a snicker...]
Kid- Hey Perfect LOSER... Heh heh heh...
[...Corella bolts to his feet in angry rage, the kid running off laughing. He grit his teeth in anger, and then suddenly, a chilling calm ran over him as he looked down at his taped hands. With a fresh don of realization, he then turned, and sat back down. In the background one could still hear the kid laughing. He sighs and shrugs his shoulders...]
Corella- ........
[...The kid's laughter echoes and fades out as we return once more to the Corella in the chair, the camera stopping and now slowly zooming in on that face, as he stares off into nothingness, lost in thought...]
V/O- ...His ego had cost him everything he held prescious, the kingdom he ruled, though existant only in his mind, had finally crumbled to nothing. His dreams shattered, he hung up his boots, and left the wrestling business he once loved, with the promise to never again set foot upon ring canvas...
[...The lights instantly go out over the ring, and for several seconds it remains silent, until a voice speaks again, this one not a voice over, but Corella's own, as the lights come back on. He was no longer seated, but now standing in the ring, leaning on the ropes and looking at the camera, microphone in hand.]
Corella- ....Wouldn't be the first promise I've ever broken.
[...A mischevious smirk decorates his face...]
....Like the promise I made to my grandfather years ago, that I would never compromise myself to get over. That I would stay true to the Corella family legacy, and make my long dead father smile with pride from his grave...
[...Corella proceeds to pace the length of the ring rope, the camera moving with him. He stops at the corner and leans into it, one arm draped lazily over the turnpost...]
....The promise I made to myself, to never give in, or give up...
[...A sadness washes over his expression, and that smirk slips away from his chiselled face...]
....I'll admit it, the years have not been kind to me. I've been spit at, beaten up, kicked while I'm down, and gained more than my fair share of scars and painful memories...
[...He pushes away from the corner, walking to the center of the ring, his back to the camera now...]
...Nothing that I was undeserving of, don't get me wrong....
[...Corella turns back now to face the camera...]
...I brought alot of misery upon myself. That's what happens when you listen to that little voice in your head telling you constantly -"You're the greatest, chief!" You listen to it long enough, and soon that voice is all you hear. It even effects your vision...
[...Now circling that steel chair in the middle of the ring, he points to his eyes...]
...You put up these blinders that lets you only look one way. You only see what you want to see, but not the truth. My ego wouldn't allow me to see just how bad things really were...
[...He then stops and does an about face towards the camera, his hand sweeping outward in a dramatic gesture...]
...I was so blinded by jealousy and rage, that I even tore apart my best friend out of jealousy. He was becoming more successful than me and we couldn't have that, oh no sir...
[...He scoffs, looking down and away from the camera as if ashamed and unable to look the viewing audience in the eye...]
...I've been guilty of alot of brutal acts, none of which were all that forgiveable despite all the rationalizations I threw upon them, but what I did to him was the least forgiveable of all. I should have stopped and realized right then what I had become, but those blinders were still in effect...
[....Corella's eyes manage to avert themselves back to the camera lense...]
....So I carried on, never once thinking about that moment until the day I realized that I was working at a low budget Indy promotion, I was 33 years old at the time, and the only championship I've ever held as an adult was won by default because my opponent simply didn't show up to the arena. ...
[...He chuckles sadly...]
....Factor in that I've been wrestling professionally since the age of 20, and was wrestling highschool and college from 15 to 19...
[...Holding his hand out as if addressing a crowd, he continues...]
...For all my bravado, All I've managed in 13 years is to become one of the most hated men in professional sports. While a fun fact, that's not a worthy accomplishment. I now wonder where in the hell did I get off calling myself The Perfect One, without a single, major championship reign under my belt?
[...He looks away from the camera again, a frown decorating his features, the hand drops...]
...Everything I did, was with the intent of becoming the greatest champion of all time, and it seems insulting as hell now to have inflicted all that misery upon myself and others and achieve absolutely NOTHING!
[...His face began to redden as anger enveloped him, his brow furrowed and his nostrils flared, he looks towards the camera...]
...NOTHING... NADA... ZIP... ZILCH... NOT A GODDAMNED THING!!!!
...You bet your ass it's infuriating as hell to come to the realization that you've been banging your head against a brick wall for years , only to finally come to the realization that you're wounded and bleeding all over it!
[...his gaze narrows as he moves in towards the camera, the lens zooming in for a closeup...]
...and now... it's all come full circle. Starting over from scratch after a long hiatus, here in the Dangerous Championship Wrestling League, I fully intend to win the respect I deserve, and plan on starting off on the right foot. Things will be different, you will see... but don't think for a second that I'm going soft...
[...Corella then leans over the ropes, getting face to face with the camera...]
....If I'm truly wronged, I promise you that the consequences of such an action will be severe. The King may not have his crown, but he most definitely has his hammer, and the will to use it...
[...and on that note, he squats down, reaching between the ring apron and the edge of the mat, quickly producing a gold sledgehammer with a black lacquored handle, he then rises to a stand, appraising his hammer for a moment. He then looks back to the camera...]
...The Name is Leon Corella, and it will serve you well to remember it...
[...He raises the hammer high, and brings it crashing down upon the lens. Instantly the scene goes to static, and fades to black. Red letters bleed through the black, as if blood on the screen...]
#LEON CORELLA##RETURNS##8-12-2009##DCWL#
[Cue the opening theme…]
~~~D~C~W~L~~~
~~~D~C~W~L~~~
[Cut to Rich Manning and Christian Chazz at the announce position. Play-by-play man Manning is his usual mock turtleneck and sport coat self. Chazz, meanwhile, is channelling The Most Interesting Man in the World tonight.]
RM: Welcome, DCWL fans, to Kelowna, British Columbia for the second outing of the Dangerous Championship Wrestling League. Welcome to “Ruckus in the Rockies!”
CC: Neither forest fires, nor H1N1 can give us a sophomore jinx.
RM: Tonight, the Trios division is open for business. Not only will the Trios Championship be decided, but two trio squads will be receiving tryouts here tonight, as Complete Control takes on Unique Element.
CC: Yeah, and how about the champions being crowned tonight? The Annoyed Samoans versus a mystery team. Dan Clear tells me the team he scouted is something special.
RM: [muttering at first] That’s never a good sign… [in his hype voice] Also tonight, we’re going to see another prospect, Maurice Thompson. Thompson was originally scheduled to take on another opponent.
CC: Yeah, get this: BLUE Matsuyama is still in Vancouver right now, because his plane was delayed, so Maurice “The Native” is moving up the card to fight…
RM: …Denis Cyr.
CC: Yeah, Cyr, who can bend rebar with his bare hands.
RM: And later tonight, Derrick L. Ford defends the Dangerous Championship against B.A. Jive. Two very big names from the latter days of the “Demented Creations” DCWL.
CC: And right now, it’s Alton West, the Greatest Athlete Who Ever Lived, going up against… well… Max Turbo is what they call him.
RM: Yeah, as best we can tell, the Demented Creations toy company, the old owners of the DCWL, dumped this guy onto us when they sold the rights to the DCWL name.
CC: I did a little research, being something of a Japanophile myself, and all I really could figure out is that he is the star of a Japanese TV show and his own line of toys, like Power Rangers…
RM: Max Turbo with what can only be called an upset. Alton West gave as good as he got in that match, but Max Turbo comes up HUGE, with those Tiger Suplexes.
CC: No, Rich, I looked them up. They’re called Five-Dimensional—
RM: [talking over Chazz] The last time we saw Kid Way Cool, he was blindsiding Rex Creed with a back brain kick. Well, we have an update on Rex Creed, and it’s been confirmed that he is being told to stay away from the ring, which for all intents and purposes is very likely the end of his career. Blaze Crimson was on her way to catch up with Kid Way Cool earlier today, when we saw this…
~~~D~C~W~L~~~
[Blaze Crimson is in front of the silk-screened DCWL backdrop with Kid Way Cool.]
BC: KWC, in Spokane three weeks ago you interrupted Rex Creed’s post-match celebration, and as a result of your actions, Rex Creed’s career may be over.
KWC: Hey, don’t be bringing me down here, darling. Everyone who watched the last show would’ve remembered me losing to bloody cartoon luchador if I didn’t do that…
[He tails off as something catches his attention. He laughs and waves off camera.]
KWC: Hey, mate!
[The camera pans away as KWC catches Brian Irwin in his warm-up gear.]
KWC: You made yourself scarce after the last show—erk!
[Irwin grabs a fistful of Kid Way Cool’s shirt and jerks him in until they are nose to nose.]
IRWIN: Don’t you “hey, mate” me, my son. There’s one thing that you don’t do in this business and that’s messing with another man’s livelihood. You don’t take someone’s means of income off the table by sending them home in an ambulance. I didn’t bring you over here so you could make a bunch of enemies for yourself, all right? This is the last word I want to say on the matter to you, all right?
[KWC is duly intimidated.]
IRWIN: ALL RIGHT?!
KWC: [weakly] Right…
IRWIN: GOOD!
[Irwin lets go of KWC’s shirt. Kid Way Cool is thrown back a few feet. He and Brian Irwin go their separate ways.]
[The lovely raven haired, Blaze Crimson comes into view wearing a blouse, a collard shirt, and some nice suit pants. As the shot slowly pans out we see the newly signed, "The Native" Maurice Thompson standing beside her. In his hand is a piece of paper with the, "SPW" logo printed at the top. He is already in his ring attire, awaiting to make his DCWL debut. Blaze pulls her microphone to her lips and begins speaking.]
Blaze: I'm standing here with the newly signed, and fresh out of, "Storm Warrior" Michael Navarro and The Amazing Cold Blood's, "Vision Quest" wrestling school in Arizona, but what has my attention is the document in your hand. What is that Maurice?
[Blaze moves the microphone under Maurice's lips.]
Native: To all of those that don't know who I am, prepare to get to know me very well. I hold in my hand the copy of my SPW Developmental contract. After just two matches in my career, I impressed enough to make it that far...But, if I have learned anything it's that with each success, a new journey begins. My journey has just began, tonight I step into the ring against an opponent that I don't even know the name of. Does that intimidate me? No. Does it worry me? No. I know that I'm going to go out there tonight and get the first win of my career. Hayden can throw..Rex Creed, Sam Smith, The Rat, or anyone else in my path tonight. I have already assured myself victory, and I'm not going to let myself down.
[Blaze moves the microphone back.]
Blaze: It seems that you know a good bit about the past of DCWL Maurice, what about the current DCWL? What do you see right now? Whether it be those you want to wrestle, any problems you see within the company, what has your attention?
[Blaze moves the microphone back, Maurice rubs underneath his chin.]
Native: I'll tell you a few things...
[Maurice puts his arms down.]
Native: DCWL signed this guy who likes to call himself, "Bane." Nothing more that a bonified racist jackass that represents everything I stand against. It's sad..very sad...I will cross paths with him at a later date. But, you want to know something Blaze. [Maurice looks over at Blaze for a moment before looking back into the camera.]
Native: Derrick Ford is the biggest waste of space I have ever seen, here is someone that does nothing other that badmouth and disrespect everything about the DCWL. I plan on being in this company for a long time..wrestling a lot of matches..spilling a lot of blood...and earning my way up to the top. There's just one thing I would like to request.
[Blaze pulls the microphone back towards her.]
Blaze: What's that?
Native: I challenge Derrick Ford to a match, regardless if he leaves tonight the Dangerous Champion or not. On August 12 in Boise, Idaho I want a match with you Derrick and I'm going to prove to you that you aren't as talented as you are, you aren't important as you think you are, and that nobody listens when you start talking. I've spent the past few weeks since I came to DCWL training in either Boise with Grr Guy or back in Arizona at Vision Quest...
I think I'm ready.
[Just then Danny Gunderson, Aaron Wilson, and Gabe Lindsey of Unique Element walk up and look at Maurice.]
Wilson: Maurice, nice to see you hear. When we heard that you graduated from Vision Quest and were in DCWL, we sent our tapes in just so we could be here to help you along.
Gunderson: Just like we did when Aaron and I stopped in at Vision Quest to help you out with training.
Native: Haven't seen you three in a couple of months, this could get interesting.
Lindsey: You know it will.
[The scene fades as the three walk off.]
~~~D~C~W~L~~~
[Cut back the announce table and to Christian Chazz and Rich Manning.]
RM: Certainly no lack of young talent looking to make a name for themselves in the DCWL, Chazz.
CC: You know, I did some research on all these guys out of the Vision Quest school, and Gunderson, Lindsey and Wilson all graduated a couple of years before Maurice Thompson did.
RM: With Jushin Thunder Lyger?
CC: What?
RM: Well, we’ll be seeing Unique Element up next, but we’re also going to be getting our first look at their opponents, a trio squad by the name of Complete Control.
WINNER – Complete Control (Aaron Wilson counted out, 17:53)
~~~D~C~W~L~~~
RM: Complete Control steals a victory, if you can call it that. Unique Element was controlling much of the match and then John Blackstock tied up Aaron Wilson outside the match. Stretcher Preston stays in the ring and that nets them the victory.
CC: I gotta disagree, Rich. Aaron Wilson didn’t return to the ring in a timely manner, and his team-mates were too focussed on Preston to bail him out. It was a rookie mistake, and the one ring veteran out of the six of them knew just how to exploit it.
RM: They’re not done yet!
[Shortly after Buckley makes the announcement, the members of Unique Element begin scrapping with Complete Control again. Lindsey tackles Eric Quinney, Aaron Wilson walks into facelock from Stretcher Preston, and an attack by Danny Gunderson is cut short when John Blackstock finds a steel chair.
CC: I don’t blame any of ‘em, it was a lousy finish to the match!
RM: Deputy Commissioner Alloy and a squad of referees are starting to break up this riot taking place at ringside… We’re going to keep moving here; back to Blaze Crimson.
~~~D~C~W~L~~~
[Cut backstage to Dan Clear. He looks directly at the camera in his important way.]
CLEAR: Dan Clear here with another DCWL exclusive. Tonight we are learning that the opponents for The Annoyed Samoans in the match to decide the DCWL Trios Championship are none other than the team that was due to appear at the last show. That’s right, Snap, Crackle and Pop are here tonight and—
ALLOY: Yeah, Dan, I was gonna talk to you about that.
[Appearing beside him suddenly (if a near 300 pounder can suddenly do anything) is Deputy Commissioner Kevin Alloy.]
ALLOY: This team that you were going to get for us was not Snap Crackle and Pop.
CLEAR: Mr. Alloy, what is preventing this team from competing here tonight?
ALLOY: Drop the reporter act, bub. You claimed Snap Crackle and Pop were hybrid wrestlers / mixed martial artists.
CLEAR: Snap Crackle and Pop are hybrid—
[Kyle Hayden appears behind his lumbering deputy. Though only 5’ 3”, his presence fills the room.]
HAYDEN: They are three hoboes, Dan.
CLEAR: Three hoboes named Snap—
HAYDEN: They’re not even named Snap Crackle and Pop! They’re named Normal-Faced Olaf, The Silver Jacket Man and Genius L. Cravat!
CLEAR: Their team name can be Snap Crackle and Pop.
HAYDEN: No. They are “The Three Hoboes Dan Clear Found By The Train Tracks.”
ALLOY: This is your second offense, Dan. You know what that means.
VOICE: Excuse me, gentlemen.
[Into the frame steps Derrick L. Ford. The Dangerous Champion seems in high spirits carrying his belt...and a large box covered in bright red gift-wrapping. An envelope is taped to the top. Hayden groans and Alloy just glowers at him.]
HAYDEN: Daddy’s busy right now, Derrick; why don’t you go play in traffic?
FORD: Trust me when I say the feeling is mutual.
ALLOY: Kyle, let me get rid of him…
FORD: Hey, now, I come in peace! I was asked to deliver this to you by our good mutual friend from SPW. He thought the personal touch would make it mean just that much more.
[Ford extends the gift to Hayden. Hayden and Alloy exchange meaningful looks, before Alloy takes the box. He opens the envelope first, reading the note inside. Satisfied it is not a trap, he hands it to the Commissioner.]
HAYDEN: [reading] "Mr. Hayden, I was intrigued to hear of your resurrection of the DCWL and it's partnership with SPW. With all of the past ill will it is most gratifying to know it will not interfere with business. Please accept the enclosed token as a gesture of good faith in our upcoming partnership as well as a reminder of happier days. Regards, HS."
[Handing the note back to his deputy, Hayden receives the red wrapped box and neatly removes the paper. He opens the box, revealing a bright sky blue Hawaiian shirt with a beach scene imprinted on it. Hayden removes it with disgust to uncover an oversized coffee mug underneath. Commissioner and deputy are unamused, though Ford is grinning madly.]
HAYDEN: So you mugged Jimmy Buffett outside the Starbucks again, huh, Derrick?
ALLOY: Hey Kyle, do you want me to set up an appointment between my fist and his teeth?
FORD: Don't look at me, I'm just the messenger. Anyway, we should be proud of our past. Isn't that right...Ratt?
[He pats the Commissioner on the back a little too heartily, resulting in a death glare from both men.]
ALLOY: Okay, ya know what? I’m going to count this as your first rules violation. One thousand dollars. Is it all right if it comes out of your cheque? Good. Because it’s going to.
[Derrick sighs.]
FORD: No need.
[He reaches into his picket, pulling out a stack of US currency. He lightly tosses it to Alloy.]
FORD: I knew you'd get me for some trumped up charge, so I came prepared. Feel free to count it, just wait till I'm gone, okay?
[Without waiting for a response, Ford turns on his heel and walks away. Dan Clear, investigative journalist, pipes up again.]
CLEAR: Why was the Hawaiian shirt and coffee cup bad?
[Hayden, scowling, pulls Alloy aside for a conference. They part, and Alloy walks up to Clear.]
ALLOY: Do you know what the punishment for your second offense is, right?
CLEAR: Um, “administrative dickery?”
ALLOY: Yes, Dan.
[He stands aside.]
ALLOY: Administrative dickery.
[Hayden fastballs the coffee mug directly at the base of Dan Clear’s coiffe. He yelps and hits the ground as Hayden and alloy exit. Pan down to Clear curled up on the floor in the fetal position.]
CLEAR: This is Dan Clear… back to you Rich and Chazz… owwwwww…
~~~D~C~W~L~~~
RM: Thank you, Dan. I guess.
CC: Jeez, if a second offense is a coffee cup thrown at the head, how can I get Hollywood Panzerotti to commit two offenses against management?
RM: Well, as you just saw, two new team in the DCWL are starting to make an impact, and we just learned that both Complete Control and Unique Element have challenged each other for “Fast Cars, Danger, Fire, and Knives” in Boise…
CC: You’d think we’d come up with some shorter event names…
RM: In any case, these two teams are looking to make a name for themselves. And speaking of making a name for oneself, Maurice “The Native” Thompson, another Vision Quest graduate, has been given the chance of a lifetime and moved up the card substantially.
CC: Pretty good for an 18-year-old. You know, when I was eighteen, I had trouble getting hired at ZELLERS.
RM: Maurice Thompson gets a tryout next. The only problem? He’s facing DENIS CYR. Let’s go to Buckley Luck for the announcements.
WINNER – Maurice “The Native” Thompson (Flight of the Hidatsa, 25:41)
CC: Epic! Just epic!
RM: That has got to be one the biggest upsets going in the DCWL! Maurice Thompson going the distance against the strongman Denis Cyr and WINNING!
[Cyr, panting, pulls himself to his feet as Thompson soaks in the cheers. Cyr offers his hand and Thompson accepts. Huge pop for the show of respect.]
CC: Take nothing away from Denis Cyr; I thought he had Thompson dead to rights with that Claw. And if not that, then that Strongman’s Bomb of his. But hey, for once youth beats guile!
RM: And this just in—it’s going to be Derrick Ford versus Maurice Thompson at “Fast Cars, Danger, Fire, and Knives” in Boise! And depending on the outcome of the Dangerous Championship match in the main event, “The Native” could be a champion in only his second match!
CC: Well, I know Derrick Ford is ornery, and he’s going to have a few things to say about that, but he’s got a match against B.A. Jive tonight.
RM: Well, fans, it’s intermission. So let’s go to Hollywood.
~~~D~C~W~L~~~
[Cut backstage to what is presumably Hollywood Panzerotti’s contractually obligated pleasure dome. He slouches back in a plush purple velvet chaise lounge, which matches the décor of the room: in incredibly bad taste. He seems a little put off this time around.]
HP: What up, lovers of all things me. You know, I believe it was me who coined the phrase “I got 99 problems.” Well… give a big Panzerotti hello to 1/33rd of my problems…
[Pan out to reveal Hollywood’s guests are the Annoyed Samoans. Offramp Alebua takes up most of the couch. Moses Pupulolo squats between Offramp and Panzerotti. The monstrous Ozzie Emshamo lurks behind all, staring into the nothingness.]
OFFRAMP: You dare mock us, foolish mortal?!
OZZIE: Spaghetti.
MOSES: We would have you KILLED… if we were the Samoan archetypes you hegemonic pro wrestling types love so much.
OFFRAMP: Yeah, Hollywood “Don Imus” Panzerotti.
MOSES: I wear a bone through my nose because I like how it looks, okay?
OZZIE: Tuesday.
OFFRAMP: You know, I don’t even know why we bother sometimes.
HP: I don’t know why you bother ever.
OFFRAMP: MORTAL! You will DIE and we will feast on your fatted American flesh and—
MOSES: Dial it back, Offramp.
OFFRAMP: Gotcha.
MOSES: We must now go, fat American. It is the privilege of the Annoyed Samoans to defeat the hoboes.
OZZIE: I like jam.
MOSES: When we win, you know what will happen.
OFFRAMP: WE GET TO EAT ONE OF THEM!
[Moses glares at Offramp.]
MOSES: And?
[Offramp sighs and stares down at his bare feet.]
OFFRAMP: And we’re the Trios Champions and every will have to respect us for our accomplishments. I GUESS.
MOSES: Before we go, Hollywood. I have a question for you.
[Moses leans in, intimidating. But he speaks very chattily.]
MOSES: What do you use to keep that hair luxurious? See, my ‘do? I can’t do anything with it. What do you use to keep your hair shining and full like that?
[For the first time ever, Hollywood Panzerotti is lost for words.]
RM: Genius L. Cravat couldn’t make it back into the ring, so the Annoyed Samoans win by countout. Deputy Commissioner Kevin “Killdozer” Alloy is down at ringside conferring with Buckley Luck… looks like we’re going to get an announcement…
BUCKLEY: “Ladies and gentlemen, here are your winners…”
[The tension mounts.]
BUCKLEY: “And the first ever DCWL Trios Champions! Ozzie Emshamo! Offramp Alebua! Moses Pupulolo! THE ANNOYED SAMOANS!”
[Moses is elated and he grabs the belts. Offramp instructs Ozzie to pick up Normal Faced Olaf and carry him backstage.]
~~~D~C~W~L~~~
[We cut too backstage where Blaze Crimson is standing in the men’s locker room which appears to be empty sans one man. Bane is sitting on a wooden bench in front of the lockers leaning his massive body against the blue metal relaxing. A small white towel is draped across his forehead covering most of his face but his mouth is visible. ]
BC: We’re backstage here with the newly acquired Julian ‘Bane’ Beckson. Those of you that know your wrestling history know that he is a former wrestler for the now defunct Ohio Wrestling Coalition what was a part of the NeWA umbrella along with his brother Anthony ‘The Mangler’ Benson. However, he hasn’t been seen for close to 7 years now and tonight and tonight he will be making his DCWL debut. Bane, what have you been doing in your time away from the ring?
Bane: Surviving.
[Blaze waits for something more but receives nothing. She realizes she isn’t going to get more of an explanation so she moves on.]
BC: So what enticed you about the DCWL that made you want to come out of retirement?
Bane: Retirement? I was never retired; I was just blacklisted by those crooks at my former place of employment. It took me this long just for someone else to take another chance with me. For that, I am grateful to the DCWL and will show them exactly what they paid for tonight.
BC: Speaking of tonight, what do you think of your opponent Brian Irwin?
Bane: I think he got screwed.
BC: Screwed?
Bane: Yeah, screwed.
BC: Care to explain?
Bane: Well, did you watch the matches last week? From what I saw, Brian Irwin beat that nig… [Bane catches himself] Brian Irwin beat BA Jive last week cleanly. What did that get him? It got him a match with me who he doesn’t stand a chance against while Jive gets a shot at Derrick Ford’s championship. Tell me, does that sound right to you? Why should Jive get a title shot after a loss? To me it sounds like Brian Irwin should have gotten that title shot while Jive should have been the sacrificial lamb to me.
BC: So you think that Brian Irwin is just being served up to you?
Bane: Let’s be honest with ourselves here. I have signed an exclusive contract to compete in the DCWL. They’re going to want to sell tickets on my name as being a top contender. They want me to win my first match so that they can promote me that way. It’s the way all wrestling debuts go. They don’t want someone who is the face of the new promotion to lose their first match. They want me to dominate and destroy and I shall not disappoint them.
Listen, I know Brian Irwin’s history. He is a legend in this business and has had a great career but he’s way past his prime. I think the fact that he is getting senile in his old age is also apparent. He’s backing someone named Kid Way Cool who’s smaller than my forearm and gets lucky once in a while by kicking someone in the back of their heads. And Brian Irwin thinks he’s going to be the next big thing. If that doesn’t scream senility, I don’t know what does. Does that mean I’m going to take Brian Irwin lightly? Absolutely not. I will go in there and give him my full effort and in the end if he can’t stand back up, perhaps his little protégé can also become his registered nurse.
BC: Strong words from Bane there. Let’s see if he can back them up in the ring tonight…
Bane: Oh, I will. Don’t you worry about that.
BC: Back to you Rich.
~~~D~C~W~L~~~
RM: Well… Chazz…
CC: Look, just don’t dignify what he has to say. Let’s just move on to his match okay?
CC: Irwin did his damnedest to wear out Bane, but Bane just overpowered and outbrawled him.
RM: An impressive debut by Bane and I can’t help but—uh-oh.
CC: Not him again. This is not going good.
[Behind Bane, Kid Way Cool slides into the ring, a chair in his hand. He lines up as Bane turns around, as Brian Irwin tries to fend him off.]
CC: Kid Way Cool wants to impress his mentor.
[Just as Bane turns to face KWC, the chair is flung into Bane’s leg. Bane drops to one knee. KWC uses the opportunity to boost himself up on Bane’s outstretched knee—]
*SMACK*
RM: IDDQD!
[Bane groans loudly, but remains somewhat upright. Irwin leaps up and tosses Kid Way Cool out of the ring before leaping out of the way himself.]
RM: KWC got Bane good, but Julian Beckson is made of tougher stuff than that!
[Beckson, holding the back of his skull and grimacing like he has the worst headache in the world, leaps out of the ring and chases Irwin and KWC to the back.]
CC: Damn, I don’t want to be Kid Way Cool right now.
RM: Well, that means there’s only match left, and it’s for the Dangerous Championship.
CC: Yeah, Derrick Ford and Jive Pawn—sorry, B.A. Jive. These two have known each other for a long time… in the DCWL’s timeframe, anyway.
RM: The DCWL Dangerous Championship is defended every show, so Derrick Ford is going to have a gruelling schedule ahead of him, but the onus is also on B.A. Jive to finish the match inside fifteen minutes. If Derrick Ford holds off for all fifteen minutes, it counts as a successful defense. Let’s take you down to Buckley Luck for the match announcement.
CC: I thought for sure it would go to the time limit!
RM: We’ve got to get the announcement from Buckley Luck…
BUCKLEY: “Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of the match and NEW DCWL Dangerous Champion… B.A. JIVE!!!”
[Kevin Alloy appears at ringside, personally handing the blue leather backed Dangerous Championship belt to Jive, who raises it over his head. Derrick Ford just sits and seethes.]
RM: That’s it for “Ruckus in the Rockies,” DCWL fans! For Christian Chazz, Hollywood Panzerotti, Dan Clear and Blaze Crimson… I’m Rich Manning. We’re got two new champions! And we’ll see you in Boise for DCWL #3… “Fast Cars, Danger, Fire, and Knives!”
Slim pickings this time around, but there may be a surprise (or four) come Show #2: Ruckus in the Rockies…
[We are looking live, once again, at the Houston, Texas office of Derrick L. Ford. Lounging on the plush leather couch is the Dangerous Champion himself, belt laying across his shoulder in all its magnificence. Ford is grasping it loosely, though in a way that suggests that you wouldn't want to try and pull the belt away. The lengthy Maine transplant is staring at the ceiling, grinning wildly.]
FORD: Well Kyle, good news! You won't have to hear me talk about that Platinum Championship belt anymore! Of course...
[Ford sits up.]
FORD: ...if you thought I was overbearing and obnoxious about the LAST belt I held, you may not like what's coming. I'm not going to lie, Kyle. I thought for sure you and that big lug of yours would find a way to screw me over. Yet you decided to actually obey your own rules and here we are, you at the helm of the DCWL and me, your only champion.
[The grin turns more into a smirk.]
FORD: Oh and bravo on the whole "subjugating DCWL to the whims of SPW" thing you did. I'd say more, but our good friend has asked me to pass along a gift to you. I think it'd say more than I ever could, so I'll pass for the moment.
[Ford relaxes a bit, though he grips his title a little harder.]
FORD: Speaking of past allegiances, I'd like to congratulate my future opponent on singlehandedly providing the worst possible argument for championship credentials that I've ever seen. Look, Jive, losing to the limey geezer is bad enough for your first match as a...
[Ford makes the universal facial expression for "OMGSUPERSERIOUS".]
FORD:...serious competitor...
[Back to normal, thank Jeebus.]
FORD: ...but you just HAD to bring up the past history between us. Oh, yeah, you were a real beast in those house shows man. Good job. It's just a shame that the only time you and I were in the same ring on television I DESTROYED YOU! Did you really forget the beating I put on you and your zombified friend? Did I really hit you THAT hard? For chrissakes, I had you assigned to my security team and THEN put you out of commission for a few weeks.
[He gives the "thumbs up" sign."]
FORD: But hey, it was only a nationally televised pummelling. I'm sure you'll do a great job drawing on those awesome house shows you used to do.
[He adjusts the belt one last time.]
FORD: Talk all you want Jive, but you'll always be the Pawnbroker to me. Whatever world you live in to believe you have a chance damn sure isn't the real one. Here, in the real world, a new era has dawned in the DCWL with it's first dominant champion. You have fifteen minutes of fame, Jive, after which you will realize that you cannot end the ERA of DERRICK! L! FORD!
[Fade out.]
(Fade in.)
(Scene opens up to what appears to be an old run-down tan brick building that looks like it might have at one time been a factory. The tan bricks that the building is made out of fade in and out from darker shades to lighter shades, a sign that the sun has taken its toll on this building over time. A barely walkable concrete sidewalk, whose cracks are spurting weeds and grass, leads up to a pair of former glass doors who have been boarded up and padlocked shut so that no one may enter this way. Off to the left side of the building is a black top parking lot that has also seen better days. It would take a venturous driver to attempt to navigate the numerous and large pot holes that fill the parking lot, and it seems that there are two. One drives a rusty, sky blue with white paneling Ford pickup truck that can be no less than 25 years old. The other is an old, red and black 4 door Chevrolet Chevette, a car that is no longer even produced.)
(As we scan back over towards the building from the parking lot side, we notice a deep red door on the side of the building facing the parking lot. There is a single bulb lamp positioned directly above the door and a sign white sign with black lettering right above the light. From this distance, we can’t read the faded letters that adorn sign so the pan closer. Once we get into view, we can see that the faded block lettering on the sign reads “BECKSON’S GYM & TRAINING CENTER”.)
(We fade out and back in to a new location.)
(We are in an office that overlooks the worn down gym. The flourecent lights hanging from the drop ceiling are flickering and buzzing much like a mosquito lamp. Most of the tiles that are left in the ceiling, which is about half, have brown splotches on them from water stains. There are a few old grey metal filing cabinets lining the walls and a window on one side of the room. The window, which is how we see the gym, sits above the main floor level. The room appears to once have been the supervisor office of a warehouse. In the center of the gym floor we see a boxing/wrestling ring where the ropes hang loosely from the posts. Off to the right of the ring are a bunch of free weights, dumbbells, and jump ropes. There isn’t any modern gym equipment in sight. Off to the left of the ring is where the training bags hang. The worn leather on the speed bag is severely taped up and the heavy bag has a deep indentation on one side from years of abuse. Directly behind the ring are a few cracked, blue gym mats on the floor sweat stained form years of men old and young wresting on them. The mats are also the only thing covering the grey concrete floor that make up the surface for the rest of the gym. There is no one training in the gym at this time. There are, however, two people in the office sitting on opposite sides of a paper covered “desk” otherwise known as a folding dinner table.)
(An older man is sitting with his back to the gym and looks to be about 70 or 75. He is wearing a plain black collared polo shirt and a pair of blue jeans. His wrinkled skin has been toughened over the years from hard manual labor and working in the sun. While old, we can see that strength still lies with him.)
(Sitting directly in front of him is a monsterous man, even sitting down. His bald head drips sweat onto his black torn sweatshirt which is unzipped down the front. A tattoo is peaking out from behind the sweatshirt on his left pectoral muscle but we cannot make out what it is. The man is someone some of us recognize as Bane, who stares coldly ahead of him, not directly at the old man but more over his shoulder to the gym scene behind him.)
(The older man is looking directly at Bane, not seemingly intimidated at all by the monster’s presence. He is the first one to speak.)
Old man: So I hear someone finally gave you a chance again in the ring.
Bane: Yes, the DCWL signed me to a contract. They’re trying to relaunch themselves and needed talent. It’s not the best paying job I’ve ever had but it gets me out of working at that Burger King trying to make ends meet.
Old man: That it does. You were always great in the ring and on the mic. I’m happy that you’ve been given this opportunity.
(The old man pauses for a second and looks down at his folded hands. Bane doesn’t say a word and just continues to stare at the man.)
Old man: It’s just that…
(He trails off but Bane doesn’t let him off the hook.)
Bane: What?
(The old man sighs and looks up at Bane.)
Old man: You lack respect.
(Bane breathes out slowly and loudly through his nose.)
Old man: Julian, listen…
Bane: Don’t call me Julian, Dad. You know what it cost me to get the rights to ‘Bane’.
Dad: You technically don’t have the rights to the name, you blew all of your savings from your good job on fighting a legal battle WITHOUT a lawyer and ended up just legally changing your name in the end. You could have at least blow your savings on a lawyer and actually won the rights to the name Bane or they probably would have given you the advice that you couldn’t win this way and to do a name change from the beginning.
(Bane speaks under his breath.)
Bane: I wasn’t going to give my money to a fucking Jew lawyer.
Dad: You see, that’s what I mean by lack of respect…
(This causes Bane to blow up.)
Bane: Respect, Dad?!? Where was the respect when DC came and sued me for using the name of Bane? I heard they went after the NeWA and OWC first but those kike owners sent those bastards my way without even blinking an eye. They didn’t offer to help pay for my defense at all. Hell, they were probably working with DC and trying to get back all the money they paid me over the years. I bet it was even NeWA’s and OWC’s idea to sue me. They couldn’t stand the idea that I wouldn’t be their nigger anymore and walked out on them. It didn’t matter that they’re the ones that fucked themselves over by constantly sending people out during MY matches so that I wouldn’t hold a title. When I did finally win a title in the CWA, they took it away by saying I wasn’t under contract and that I was getting paid per appearance. Fuck them. That’s why I left and so that’s why they sent DC after me.
Dad: And how long do you think you will last in the DCWL with that attitude? I’m sure they’ve had to mention something to you already…
(Bane mumbles his answer.)
Bane: I promised them I would keep it under wraps and that I would not air any of my personal feelings on any of their broadcasts.
(Bane’s father rolls his eyes at this.)
Dad: Jesus, you’re not going to last three shows with them…
(A gleam of unrelenting anger and hatred enters Bane’s eyes. However, instead of exploding again, Bane’s voice remains eerily calm and controlled which makes it all the more unnerving.)
Bane: I won’t need to keep it under control that long, father. You see, I’ve signed a multi-year contract and while the pay isn’t spectacular, it has enough performance incentives to allow me for a very comfortable living. And once they see me in the ring, see how dominating and superior I am, they won’t ever want to break the contract with me. I won’t cause problems by being suspended for using performance enhancing drugs, the issue that’s been plaguing profession wrestling for a while now, because I don’t need them. There is no need to cheat, to use weapons of any kind, or to break rules of any sort. I have been born as a superior being, into the strongest race on this earth, and I intend to prove it.
