DCWL Classic - The Best Promo In DCWL History?

As a bit of a change of pace, we now present one of the Top 10 promos ever in the DCWL. Celestial Warrior became famous for his in-ring performances, and it's easy to forget he was one of the best interviews in the classic "good guy" mold. This particular segment from the June 2007 edition of War of the Words is outstanding in its use of style to tell the story of CW going in to Ark of Apocalypse 2007. Presenting the famous "film noir" promo.

DCWL NEWZ UPDATE - December 20, 2009

NEWZ

• As a result of the attack by Jackson Hunter, Mike Anderson sustained a moderate concussion and is out of action until he receives the all-clear from his doctors and DCWL management. The blank contract that was to have been Anderson's is now currently in the possession of Hunter and he has stated that he will explain his intentions regarding the contract on the next edition of "War of the Words." DCWL Deputy Commissioner Kevin "Satan" Alloy has fined Hunter two slices of spongecake and "a Vermont state flag to be named later."
  
• Additionally, Jackson Hunter has signed a DCWL contract and is returning to the ring! The time off has reportedly allowed Jax's numerous nagging injuries to heal. And if not, Kyle Hayden has added, "so what? Let him bust himself up again." It's rumored that this is something of a farewell tour for Jax.
• The Big Nasty has also bowed out of the DCWL, as he is unable to juggle all his appearance commitments and his upcoming VH1 show "That Really Tall Guy Who Yells A Lot Knows Better Than Most."
• Since 2/3 of the winning team at "Ark of Triocalypse" are now persona non grata in the DCWL, the decision was made to award the Trios title shot to the runners-up in the tournament, Horrorshow, who will now face longtime rivals Unique Element for the Trios Championship at "The Year We Make Contact." Rather than leave "Big" Mike Foyer in the cold, the DCWL recognizes he has a legitimate claim to a Trios title shot and so he may put together any team he wishes for the next Trio title defense at "The Devil Wears Lycra," on the condition that they are currently employed on the Main or Reserve rosters of the DCWL.
• In spite of a losing effort, DCWL officials were quick to track down Team Shootfire's Juri and offer her a roster spot in the DCWL. Juri accepted and now she is in the same federation as her mentor "Dark Angel" Joshua Curtis!
• Asked whether disciple was forthcoming to DCWL Governor General Ace Stevens for stealing the Trios Championship and returning them to The New Main Street Killas, Commissioner Hayden said "I think Unique Element are big boys and they can handle this themselves. Besides, I'm sure whatever they have planned for the NMSK will knock my socks off."
  
• It looks like the DCWL is looking to defuse the burning issue between BMF and Bane and have put them in an exploding barbed wire... landmine... thing... match in the parking garage at the University of Saskatchewan for "The Year We Make Contact."
  
• Alexander Davis was livid after Doug Foster's attack on him in the trio tournament, and as a result, these two non-DCWL stars will meet at "Contains Spoilers."
• Also at "Contains Spoilers," one of Klezskavania's top diplomats will be in attendance. Baron Leo von Tantamount will drink much mulled wine and grope many moderately attractive maidens at the Klezskavanian Cultural Social Club Society of Seattle, Washington!
• Following the Devil's fire spitting, The Great Atma's medical records have been released and although much of the DCWL was proven wrong about Atma's identity, we were close. Atma is apparently Merton West, Alton West's older brother, who until recently, spent most of his free time in his parent's basement watching anime and came up with the character of The Great Atma. Alton West brought Merton on to the team to meet Max Turbo. As to Merton West's condition, his doctors report that other than severe facial trauma, massive amounts of pain, and a rapidly growing psychosis not unlike Harvey Dent, Merton West is feeling great!
  
• Word on the street is that Jackson Hunter has been giving himself too much credit for securing the venue in Saskatoon. Reportedly an anonymous donor has stepped in, probably the same one who has been throwing money at the DCWL to ensure a match with Jackson Hunter at "Cornerstone Revolution V."
  

GNUS

• As you could probably tell, I had to call an audible at the end of "Ark of Triocalypse." Mike Y has had to pull out and I wish him all the best.
• "Cornerstone Revolution" is, traditionally, the big mother of DCWL events, so let's live up to the big name. We're going to have less matches against opponents like "The Great Atma" and more against your fellow players. And after this event, we may go on hiatus for a short time, so let's make the next few months count!
  

ROSTER

• Juri has been signed to the Sirens division.
• Mike Anderson sustained a moderate concussion and possible inner ear damage and is out indefinitely.
• The Big Nasty is unable to maintain his current schedule and will not be flying in for further appearances. Denis Cyr has signed to appear with the NJWF.
  

SCHEDULE


War of the Words #10
January 6, 2010

• Flashes due 11:59 pm, Tuesday, January 5, 2010.
  

Show #10 – "The Year We Make Contact"
January 13, 2010 – Saskatoon, Saskatchewan
Oncards and other stuff due 11:59 pm, Monday, January 11, 2010.

• Drake Tungsten v. Max Turbo
  
• Juri v. Molly Molotov
  
• HOMECOMING MATCH: Jackson Hunter v. Mario Speedwagon
  
• Maurice Thompson v. "Dark Angel" Joshua Curtis
• Leon Corella, American Freebear, Mad Cow v. The New Main Street Killas
  
• DANGEROUS CHAMPIONSHIP: Derrick L. Ford (c) v. Logan Braddock
• EXPLODING BARBED WIRE STUFF LIKE THAT MATCH: Julian Beckson v. "Big" Mike Foyer
  
• DCWL v. SOW UNIFICATION: Sierra Browne (DCWL Sirens Champion) v. Fiona Casey (SOW Women's Champion)
  
• TRIOS CHAMPIONSHIP: Unique Element (c) v. Horrorshow
• ALSO! Who will Leon Corella defend the Grand Championship against at "Contains Spoilers?" What will be on the card at "Cornerstone Revolution?" Will Unique Element pants or snag on Governor General Ace Stevens and drag him around the track?
  

Show #11 - "Contains Spoilers"
February 3, 2010 - Klezskavanian Cultural Social Club Society of Seattle, Washington

• Славное культурное празднество!
• Leon Corella если чемпионат большого защищает!
• Досадное белокурое дебил против взрослого детенышей буржуазии: Alexander Davis v. Doug Foster
• Он продолжает рапс для того чтобы повредить нас!

Show #12 - "The Devil Wears Lycra"
February 24, 2010 - Portland, Oregon

• Sirens Championship defended!
• TRIOS CHAMPIONSHIP: TBA (c) v. "Big" Mike Foyer and any two employees on the DCWL roster
  

SUPERCARD: Show #13 - "Cornerstone Revolution V"
Day 1: March 17, 2010 - Toronto, Ontario

• Trios Championship defended!
• DCWL Legends Festival?
  

Day 2: March 18, 2010 - Toronto, Ontario

• Sirens Championship defended!
• Dangerous Championship defended!
• Grand Championship defended!
  

e-mail: dcwlwrestling@yahoo.com
http://dangerouswrestling.blogspot.com
http://dangerouswrestling.proboards.com

DCWL #9 - December 16, 2009 - St. Paul, Minnesota - "Ark of Triocalypse"

[A little theme music for the event...]

See No Evil, Speak No Evil and Hear No Evil…

Larry, Moe and Curly…

Huey, Dewey and Louie…

Nina, Pinta and Santa Maria…

Jack, Chrissy and Janet…

Roosevelt, Stalin and Churchill…

Planes, Trains and Automobiles…

Earth, Wind and Fire…

Yakko, Wakko and Dot…

Bobbie Jo, Billie Jo, and Betty Jo…

Sex, Lies and Videotape…

Alvin, Simon and Theodore…

~~~D~C~W~L~~~

DCWL Classic - The first Ark of Apocalypse: April 26, 2003

(The camera fades in, and we are underwater. As the camera travels
through the serenely blue flow of liquid, an unidentified pair of legs
can be seen kicking frantically. To achieve a better look, the camera
emerges from underneath the waters, to find a nameless individual
swimming against the tide, towards a large wooden structure. The
camera pans upwards, taking in the scope of this enormous boat, which
can only be described as an ARK!)

SOW`s Fiona Casey throws down the gauntlet for Sierra Browne

[“Lady Irish” Fiona Casey’s music blasts through the arena, the crowd cheers with respect as Fiona comes from the back wearing a long sleeve white silk top, with form fitting blue jeans. Her SOW Women’s Championship is around her waist. She walks to the ring with a big grin on her face, occasionally slapping the hands of a few fans.]

Morris: The new SOW Women’s Champion, Fiona Casey is here! This 18 year old has a huge future in front of her.

Kimberly: She said she had something important to talk about tonight, so I’m wondering what she has to say.

[Fiona walks up the steel steps before stepping into the ring. She is handed a microphone by Nathan Walker on the outside.]

Fiona: I’m proud to stand here today as the SOW Women’s Champion, it’s a goal I had in mind as soon as I decided to wrestle in the SOW.

[Crowd Cheers.]

Fiona: Unfortunately, it seems that I have gone under the radar due to a lot of hype going to another girl that hasn’t had much in the way of competition. Unlike her, I don’t live on reputation. I was trained to always speak with my actions in the ring…

Sierra Browne…

[Crowd Boos!]

Fiona: You may get all the hype in DCWL. The DCWL press has created a semi legend of you being unbeatable, and that no one can defeat you…

Morris: I’ve never seen Fiona this serious…

[Fiona walks around the ring a bit.]

Fiona: I looked over the DCWL schedule, and I have a bit of a challenge for you Sierra. On January 13, 2010 you defend your Sirens Championship. I’m hoping to be defending my SOW Women’s Championship as well…

Marcus Davis has already gave me the okay, and I challenge you for a title against title match to find out who really is the better champion.

[Fiona takes the microphone away from her lips as she hands the microphone back to Nathan Walker. The crowd cheers as she makes her way to the back.]

Kimberly: Fiona Casey is putting the SOW on her back! She wants to face Sierra Browne and put her title on the line!

Morris: Sierra has no chance! If decides to actually accept Fiona’s challenge!

Will DCWL Sirens Champion Sierra Browne accept Fiona Casey's challenge for "The Year We Make Contact*?" Stay tuned...

See the rest of Sundown here, including appearances by members of Team SOW, James O'Connor and Number One Contender to the Grand Champion, Leon Corella!

WAR OF THE WORDS #9

[The scene opens up in Holland and all is quiet...maybe a little too quiet! It's a picture perfect day out and one would think that there would be a lot of people out and about driving around and taking a look at the countryside but no...they choose to be hermits and silence is deafening!

Official Brackets for Ark of Triocalypse

Brackets announced this morning.

This morning the offices of the DCWL announced the brackets for the Ark of Triocalypse tournament, with four teams receiving byes into the quarter-finals due to their respective endorsements of "Black Hole Brew." They are:

• Horrorshow
• Team Mad Cow (largely by virtue of picking up Sierra Browne)
• Team Sledge
• Team Anderson

The remaining eight teams were then drawn at random and will fight it out in the first round of the tournamant.

This morning we are also... pleased... to announce the make-up of Team Shootfire. Its members will include:

• Juri! This member of SPW women's tag team The Revolution has previously been trained by our own "Dark Angel" and her credentials speak for themselves.
• "Cunning" James O'Connor! Wellllll... We know James doesn't care for the DCWL, so it appears his presence in this tournament is to stick it down the throats of DCWL fans and employees.
• Brad Cummings! The most information we have about Brad is that he has a healthy attitude toward losing. Huh.

And two pieces of news about Ark of Triocalypse: three judges will be appointed to score tournament matches that go to the 30 minute time limit. No draws in the tournament: there must be a winner.

Finally Kyle Hayden threatened that the DCWL will be visited by a jolly fat man in a red suit. A few sharp-eyed old-schoolers who know what this means are advised to avert their eyes.

More moves for Ark of Triocalypse!

Three more teams have made moves going into Ark of Triocalypse. They are:

• Team Sledge has picked up the Mystery Team, dropping both Caleb Brantseg and Gabrielle RioPaah.
• Sierra Browne decided to take matter into her own hands and distracted Paul Doom with a Rainbow Brite doll long enough to commandeer his slot on Team Mad Cow!
• Alton West has dropped Brian Irwin from The Age of the Fail and chosen The Great Atma, who was previously dropped from Team Thompson. Wait... what?

As of today, the line-up for the Ark of Triocalypse tournament looks like this:

1. Team SOW (Spade, Chris Caranova, Mike McCarey)
2. Team Shootfire (members TBA)
3. The New Main Street Killas (Killa 187, Ert Williams, Necro Bartender)
4. Unique Element (Danny Gunderson, Gabe Lindsay, Aaron Wilson)
5. Horrorshow (Joe Pansac, Wolf Masterson, Mina Eyre)
6. Team NJWF (Alexander Davis, Daisetsu Bando, Lennox Perkins)
7. Team Mad Cow (Mad Cow, Sierra Browne, Mario Speedwagon)
8. Team Anderson (Mike Anderson, The Big Nasty, "Big" Mike Foyer)
9. The Age of the Fail (Max Turbo, Alton West, The Great Atma)
10. Team Sledge (Logan Braddock, "Mystery Team")
11. Team Dark Angel (Josh Curtis, Drake Tungsten, Ozzie Emshamo)
12. Team Thompson (Maurice Thompson, B.A. Jive, Denis Cyr)

TO BE DRAFTED: Paul Doom, Molly Molotov, Complete Control (replaces two teammates), Marcus Davis, Doug Foster, Porno Anderson, Kid Way Cool,  "DCWL Icon," Brian Irwin, Gabrielle RioPaah, Caleb Brantseg, Offramp Alebua, The Great Atma

Twelve hours remain in free agency! Brackets announced tomorrow!

Line-up changes for Ark of Triocalypse Tournament!

Twenty-four hours after the announcement of free agency in the tournament, two teams have made changes:

• Team Thompson has dropped The Great Atma, in favor of "The Native's" first opponent in the DCWL, Denis Cyr!
  
• Team Anderson has dropped Offramp Alebua, and picked up "Big" Mike Foyer! With The Big Nasty already on the team, this squad is becoming quite the force, although what are the implications if they go all the way and meet up for the blank contract?

As of today, the line-up for the Ark of Triocalypse tournament looks like this:

1. Team SOW (Spade, Chris Caranova, Mike McCarey)
2. Team Shootfire (members TBA)
3. The New Main Street Killas (Killa 187, Ert Williams, Necro Bartender)
4. Unique Element (Danny Gunderson, Gabe Lindsay, Aaron Wilson)
5. Horrorshow (Joe Pansac, Wolf Masterson, Mina Eyre)
6. Team NJWF (Alexander Davis, Daisetsu Bando, Lennox Perkins)
7. Team Mad Cow (Mad Cow, Paul Doom, Mario Speedwagon)
8. Team Anderson (Mike Anderson, The Big Nasty, Offramp Alebua)
9. The Age of the Fail (Max Turbo, Alton West, Brian Irwin)
10. Team Sledge (Logan Braddock, Caleb Brantseg, Gabrielle RioPaah)
11. Team Dark Angel (Josh Curtis, Drake Tungsten, Ozzie Emshamo)
12. Team Thompson (Maurice Thompson, B.A. Jive, The Great Atma)

TO BE DRAFTED: Sierra Browne, Molly Molotov, Complete Control (replaces two teammates), Marcus Davis, Doug Foster, Porno Anderson, Kid Way Cool,  "DCWL Icon," "Mystery Team" (replaces two teammates), Offramp Alebua, The Great Atma

Less than three day to make changes to your teams! Team Shootfire will be announced by the end of the week, and one more announcement about the make-up of the tournament as well.