As a bit of a change of pace, we now present one of the Top 10 promos ever in the DCWL. Celestial Warrior became famous for his in-ring performances, and it's easy to forget he was one of the best interviews in the classic "good guy" mold. This particular segment from the June 2007 edition of War of the Words is outstanding in its use of style to tell the story of CW going in to Ark of Apocalypse 2007. Presenting the famous "film noir" promo.
[We are in a hazy, 1930's style office. One wall is covered with
bookshelves, a second with a window with a lovely view of a brick
apartment building. A small, tattered couch is up against the third
wall, and along the fourth is a wooden door with miniblinds covering
the window. An old wooden desk is in the middle of the room, facing
the window. The office is in disarray, with stacks of papers and books
covering the desk. A single lightbulb hangs from the ceiling in the
center, and provides the only light for the room. An ashtray is on the
desk, with a cigarette butt that seems to have been perpetually
burning. A thin layer of smoky haze hovers near the ceiling.]
[For some reason, the entire scene is in black and white.]
[The door opens, and on the outside of the door we can see a hastily
made wooden sign that says "C.W. KNIGHT, PRIVATE EYE". In walks
Celestial Warrior, his hair tied back in a ponytail and three-day old
stubble growing on his face. He is wearing a trenchcoat and fedora.
He shuts the door behind him, tosses his fedora and trenchcoat on the
couch, adding to the clutter, and sits at the desk. Reaching into the
top drawer, he pulls out a cigarette and lights it, adding to the haze
in the room. He puts his feet up on the desk, and exhales.]
CELESTIAL WARRIOR (VOICEOVER): "I was back in my office for god knows
how long. My whole body was killing me, and I had no idea why. I had
a splitting headache, but I had already taken part one of my two part
headache cure."
[He takes another puff from the cigarette, then tosses it in the
ashtray. He reaches into his desk drawer again, and pulls out a bottle
of whiskey.]
CELESTIAL WARRIOR: (VOICEOVER): "I keep two magnums with me at all
times, both of them always loaded. One I use to kill people quickly,
the other is probably killing me slowly."
[He takes a swig of whiskey straight from the bottle, grimaces, then
recaps it and puts it back in his desk. He reaches for the tearaway
day calender from his desk, looks at it, and tears off about a months
worth of days.]
CELESTIAL WARRIOR: (VOICEOVER): "I'd been gone nearly a month, and
couldn't remember a damn thing. The only thing I was sure about is
that sometime in that month, someone roughed me up, bad. It would at
least explain the headache."
[Celestial Warrior gingerly touches his eye, and winces, as a nice,
large bruise covers it.]
CELESTIAL WARRIOR: (VOICEOVER): "I needed answers, and the only answers
that I was going to find in my office would come from the bottle."
[He reaches into his desk drawer again, looks at the bottle, but puts
it down and decides not to have a drink.]
CELESTIAL WARRIOR: (VOICEOVER): "I didn't know where to go to find
answers, but I knew someone who might be able to help me get there."
[There is a picture frame on Celestial Warrior's desk, and he picks it
up. The woman is Aurora, in a stunning glamour shot. If the scene was
in color, we would be able to see that she is wearing a sparkling red
dress.]
CELESTIAL WARRIOR: "The Lady in Red. We had a history, but she's
helped me out before and I knew she'd do it again. I didn't really
want to use her like this, but I didn't have a choice. I needed
answers. I also needed another drink, because then, I'd have no
problem with what I was about to do."
[Celestial Warrior reaches into his desk drawer, takes a good,
three-second swig from the bottle of whiskey, and puts it back. He
goes over to his couch, puts on his fedora and throws his trenchcoat
over his shoulder. He takes one last look at the picture on his desk,
and leaves the office.]
*****
[It's nighttime outside, and there's a steady rain and breeze.
Celestial Warrior walks along the city streets, holding his trenchcoat
close to his neck to protect himself from the rain.]
CELESTIAL WARRIOR: (VOICEOVER): "It was a bitter cold night, and the
rain didn't help, but I didn't mind it. The cold did more for my
headache than the whiskey did, or maybe I had drank more than I thought
and was already numb. Either way, I felt better."
VOICE: "Awfully late to be out walking by yourself."
CELESTIAL WARRIOR: (VOICEOVER): "My mind was racing as I heard that
voice. It was an ambush! But who knew I was back in town already?
Unless this person was the source of all my misery in the first place,
and was tailing me back to the office."
[Celestial Warrior reaches inside his trenchcoat for his gun, and the
source of the voice laughs. Celestial Warrior pauses.]
VOICE: "Relax, my friend. There are worse things on the street than me
this night."
[Out from an alleyway steps Jack Hammer. His massive frame is clothed
in a suit, and he is wearing dark, round, sunglasses, despite the time.
In one hand is what looks like a tommygun case.]
CELESTIAL WARRIOR: (VOICEOVER): "As he stepped out of the shadows, I
cursed myself for not recognizing the voice sooner. But I wasn't out
of the woods yet. Hammer had been an ally before, but he was a
mercenary. He sold his services to the highest bidder. Sometimes that
was me. Sometimes not. Hopefully this time was one of the former."
CELESTIAL WARRIOR: "Who sent you?"
JACK HAMMER: "Is that any way to talk to an old friend?"
CELESTIAL WARRIOR: (VOICEOVER): "I didn't like the way this sounded,
but I knew that he wasn't out to get me this time. How did I know
this? I was still breathing."
CELESTIAL WARRIOR: "You have something to tell me. Someone sent you
out here."
[Jack Hammer smiles, although it is not an overly friendly smile.]
JACK HAMMER: "I've been looking for you for the better part of a month.
You've been away."
CELESTIAL WARRIOR: (VOICEOVER): "That told me two things. One, that he
wasn't the one who beat the living hell out of me. And two, that he
didn't know who did."
CELESTIAL WARRIOR: "Wish I knew where I'd been."
JACK HAMMER: "My employer has been wanting to talk with you."
CELESTIAL WARRIOR: "Who would that be?"
JACK HAMMER: "I can't say, but I can take you to her."
CELESTIAL WARRIOR: (VOICEOVER): "He said her. That narrowed my list
down to a handful of people. I began to think out loud."
CELESTIAL WARRIOR: "The lady in red..."
[Jack Hammer shook his head.]
JACK HAMMER: "No, my friend. The lady in black."
CELESTIAL WARRIOR: (VOICEOVER): "Instantly I knew who he was talking
about. Rhapsody. The lady and I had history. I had saved her life
once before, and she's owed me ever since. Hopefully she knew
something I wanted to hear. Otherwise, things were about to get a lot
more complicated."
CELESTIAL WARRIOR: "Alright, take me to her."
[As if on cue, a black car pulls up to the side of the road. Jack
Hammer walks up to it, and opens the back door. He gestures for
Celestial Warrior to get in, which he does.]
CELESTIAL WARRIOR: (VOICEOVER): "I don't like this. Not at all."
*****
Time passes
*****
CELESTIAL WARRIOR (VOICEOVER): "I don't know if I was drugged or what,
but I opened my eyes and found myself sitting in Rhapsody's penthouse
suite. I reached for my magnum, but it was gone. I wished I had
brought both magnums with me, because either one would've helped me."
[Celestial Warrior is sitting on an expensive looking couch. The room
he is in is sparsely furnished, with a few couches and chair facing a
wall-length hemispherical window, overlooking the city below. In front
of him, facing outside, is Rhapsody...]
CELESTIAL WARRIOR: (VOICEOVER): "It was then that I saw her. She was
beautiful, as always..."
[Rhapsody is wearing a sparkling black dress, similiar to the one
Aurora was wearing in her picture. Her long black hair is flowing, and
she seems to have a radiance about her in the moonlight.]
RHAPSODY: "Relax, I won't hurt you. But you understand in the business
I'm in, I have to take precautions."
CELESTIAL WARRIOR: (VOICEOVER): "I didn't understand. I didn't know
what business she was in. But I was smart enough to know I should play
along."
CELESTIAL WARRIOR: "Why did you want to see me?"
RHAPSODY: "Ryan Craig is the name you're looking for."
CELESTIAL WARRIOR: "Excuse me?"
RHAPSODY: "The one who gave you that headache, the nice shiner."
CELESTIAL WARRIOR: (VOICEOVER): "I wasn't expecting that. The name
sounded familiar, but it was all blurry...I tried to think, which was
made difficult by my splitting headache..."
[Rhapsody walks over to a corner bar, and pours some whiskey over ice
in a rocks glass. She walks it over to Celestial Warrior, who
graciously accepts it."
CELESTIAL WARRIOR: "Thanks."
CELESTIAL WARRIOR: (VOICEOVER): "Whatever was in that whiskey made my
memories come flooding back. I remembered the guy. I had scuffled
with him a few times before, and I had something he wanted, so he
challenged me to a fight. But he was nothing...sure he was big but
could barely throw a punch without falling over. How the hell did that
guy do this to me?"
CELESTIAL WARRIOR: "How the hell did that guy do this to me?"
RHAPSODY: "I don't know. I just saw the aftermath. And it wasn't just
him."
CELESTIAL WARRIOR: "What?"
RHAPSODY: "The name Curt Olsen sound familiar?"
[Celestial Warrior rubs his temples, trying to think.]
CELESTIAL WARRIOR: "Yeah, if I recall I laid him out pretty good."
RHAPSODY: "Yes, but do you remember the hit he laid on you before
that?"
CELESTIAL WARRIOR: "Em, no."
RHAPSODY: "No wonder. It's amazing you were able to get up after
that."
CELESTIAL WARRIOR: "So why tell me all this?"
[Rhapsody walks over to the couch, sits next to Celestial Warrior. She
leans in close, as if she is about to kiss him, but doesn't.]
RHAPSODY: "Can't a lady just try to help out a friend? You saved my
life before...it's all I can do to repay you."
[Celestial Warrior crosses his arms and raises an eyebrow, not buying
it. Rhapsody sighs, and stands up.]
RHAPSODY: "Your 'lady in red' hired me to find you. And so I got in
touch with your old friend Mr. Hammer."
CELESTIAL WARRIOR: "Aurora..."
CELESTIAL WARRIOR: (VOICEOVER): "I wasn't expecting that."
RHAPSODY: "She loves you. It is not my place to interfere."
CELESTIAL WARRIOR: (VOICEOVER): "That sentence let me know more about
Rhapsody then I ever had before. Suddenly things were falling into
place...and I was still left with more questions than answered."
RHAPSODY: "Go to her, but not yet. Not like this."
CELESTIAL WARRIOR: "Huh?"
RHAPSODY: "Her seeing you like this will only upset her more, you know
that. She'll never want you to leave again."
CELESTIAL WARRIOR: (VOICEOVER): "My head was spinning, likely a
combination of Rhapsody's words and whiskey. I was tempted to ask
where I could get a bottle of whatever she gave me..."
RHAPSODY: "I've taken the liberty of arranging a...meeting. A chance
for you to redeem yourself."
[Celestial Warrior snaps back into focus.]
CELESTIAL WARRIOR: "Huh?"
[Rhapsody walks over to him, tosses a manilla folder on his lap. He
opens it, and inside is a picture of Curt Olsen. Celestial Warrior
stiffens up.]
CELESTIAL WARRIOR: (VOICEOVER): "Upon seeing his face it all came
flooding back. He gave it to me alright, and gave it to me good. I
couldn't believe I had left myself so vulnerable. I wouldn't be caught
unprepared again."
RHAPSODY: "Next Friday night in the city that never sleeps. He'll be
there. Don't let him catch you by surprise again."
[Rhapsody turns, and walks towards the door. She turns back to
Celestial Warrior.]
RHAPSODY: "You can let yourself out.]
[As Rhapsody leaves, a single tear begins to fall down her face.]
*****
CELESTIAL WARRIOR: (VOICEOVER): "Back on the streets, my head was still
spinning. All this new information was confusing me, and I was
beginning to think I'd had a little too much whiskey. Or maybe not
enough. The wind and rain had picked up, and that wasn't helping me
either. I needed another drink."
[Celestial Warrior is once again outside, and finally ducks into a
phone booth. He reaches into his pocket, and pulls out a piece of
paper. On it is the name "Aurora", and a scrawled phone number
underneath. He reaches for the phone, and then starts to dial, but
hesitates.]
CELESTIAL WARRIOR: (VOICEOVER): "I wanted to call her, tell her I was
sorry, tell her I'd stop doing this, but it's the same line she's heard
a thousand times before."
[Celestial Warrior hangs up the phone.]
CELESTIAL WARRIOR: (VOICEOVER): "Rhapsody was right. I couldn't do
this to Aurora again. She's given everything to me, waited for me when
everyone else thought I was dead, and here I am, like a fool worrying
her sick again."
[Celestial Warrior sighs.]
CELESTIAL WARRIOR: (VOICEOVER): "But the life I lead, the company I
keep, it's going to be like this. I'm not ready to settle down, and I
can't stay in one place. I love her, and always will, but now's just
not the right time. But I also know I can't just leave her
hanging...she needs to at least know I'm ok."
[Celestial Warrior touches his eye, and winces.]
CELESTIAL WARRIOR: (VOICEOVER): "And right now, I'm clearly not."
[He leaves the phone booth, and walks back out into the rain. His step
is a little stronger now, however, and the rain doesn't seem to be
affecting him as much.]
CELESTIAL WARRIOR: (VOICEOVER): "I've got too much pride to let her see
me like this. I've got a score to settle. I've got to return the
favor Curt Olsen gave to me."
"But first, I need another drink."
[Fade.]
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Damn!
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