DCWL NEWZ UPDATE - December 20, 2009

NEWZ

• As a result of the attack by Jackson Hunter, Mike Anderson sustained a moderate concussion and is out of action until he receives the all-clear from his doctors and DCWL management. The blank contract that was to have been Anderson's is now currently in the possession of Hunter and he has stated that he will explain his intentions regarding the contract on the next edition of "War of the Words." DCWL Deputy Commissioner Kevin "Satan" Alloy has fined Hunter two slices of spongecake and "a Vermont state flag to be named later."
  
• Additionally, Jackson Hunter has signed a DCWL contract and is returning to the ring! The time off has reportedly allowed Jax's numerous nagging injuries to heal. And if not, Kyle Hayden has added, "so what? Let him bust himself up again." It's rumored that this is something of a farewell tour for Jax.
• The Big Nasty has also bowed out of the DCWL, as he is unable to juggle all his appearance commitments and his upcoming VH1 show "That Really Tall Guy Who Yells A Lot Knows Better Than Most."
• Since 2/3 of the winning team at "Ark of Triocalypse" are now persona non grata in the DCWL, the decision was made to award the Trios title shot to the runners-up in the tournament, Horrorshow, who will now face longtime rivals Unique Element for the Trios Championship at "The Year We Make Contact." Rather than leave "Big" Mike Foyer in the cold, the DCWL recognizes he has a legitimate claim to a Trios title shot and so he may put together any team he wishes for the next Trio title defense at "The Devil Wears Lycra," on the condition that they are currently employed on the Main or Reserve rosters of the DCWL.
• In spite of a losing effort, DCWL officials were quick to track down Team Shootfire's Juri and offer her a roster spot in the DCWL. Juri accepted and now she is in the same federation as her mentor "Dark Angel" Joshua Curtis!
• Asked whether disciple was forthcoming to DCWL Governor General Ace Stevens for stealing the Trios Championship and returning them to The New Main Street Killas, Commissioner Hayden said "I think Unique Element are big boys and they can handle this themselves. Besides, I'm sure whatever they have planned for the NMSK will knock my socks off."
  
• It looks like the DCWL is looking to defuse the burning issue between BMF and Bane and have put them in an exploding barbed wire... landmine... thing... match in the parking garage at the University of Saskatchewan for "The Year We Make Contact."
  
• Alexander Davis was livid after Doug Foster's attack on him in the trio tournament, and as a result, these two non-DCWL stars will meet at "Contains Spoilers."
• Also at "Contains Spoilers," one of Klezskavania's top diplomats will be in attendance. Baron Leo von Tantamount will drink much mulled wine and grope many moderately attractive maidens at the Klezskavanian Cultural Social Club Society of Seattle, Washington!
• Following the Devil's fire spitting, The Great Atma's medical records have been released and although much of the DCWL was proven wrong about Atma's identity, we were close. Atma is apparently Merton West, Alton West's older brother, who until recently, spent most of his free time in his parent's basement watching anime and came up with the character of The Great Atma. Alton West brought Merton on to the team to meet Max Turbo. As to Merton West's condition, his doctors report that other than severe facial trauma, massive amounts of pain, and a rapidly growing psychosis not unlike Harvey Dent, Merton West is feeling great!
  
• Word on the street is that Jackson Hunter has been giving himself too much credit for securing the venue in Saskatoon. Reportedly an anonymous donor has stepped in, probably the same one who has been throwing money at the DCWL to ensure a match with Jackson Hunter at "Cornerstone Revolution V."
  

GNUS

• As you could probably tell, I had to call an audible at the end of "Ark of Triocalypse." Mike Y has had to pull out and I wish him all the best.
• "Cornerstone Revolution" is, traditionally, the big mother of DCWL events, so let's live up to the big name. We're going to have less matches against opponents like "The Great Atma" and more against your fellow players. And after this event, we may go on hiatus for a short time, so let's make the next few months count!
  

ROSTER

• Juri has been signed to the Sirens division.
• Mike Anderson sustained a moderate concussion and possible inner ear damage and is out indefinitely.
• The Big Nasty is unable to maintain his current schedule and will not be flying in for further appearances. Denis Cyr has signed to appear with the NJWF.
  

SCHEDULE


War of the Words #10
January 6, 2010

• Flashes due 11:59 pm, Tuesday, January 5, 2010.
  

Show #10 – "The Year We Make Contact"
January 13, 2010 – Saskatoon, Saskatchewan
Oncards and other stuff due 11:59 pm, Monday, January 11, 2010.

• Drake Tungsten v. Max Turbo
  
• Juri v. Molly Molotov
  
• HOMECOMING MATCH: Jackson Hunter v. Mario Speedwagon
  
• Maurice Thompson v. "Dark Angel" Joshua Curtis
• Leon Corella, American Freebear, Mad Cow v. The New Main Street Killas
  
• DANGEROUS CHAMPIONSHIP: Derrick L. Ford (c) v. Logan Braddock
• EXPLODING BARBED WIRE STUFF LIKE THAT MATCH: Julian Beckson v. "Big" Mike Foyer
  
• DCWL v. SOW UNIFICATION: Sierra Browne (DCWL Sirens Champion) v. Fiona Casey (SOW Women's Champion)
  
• TRIOS CHAMPIONSHIP: Unique Element (c) v. Horrorshow
• ALSO! Who will Leon Corella defend the Grand Championship against at "Contains Spoilers?" What will be on the card at "Cornerstone Revolution?" Will Unique Element pants or snag on Governor General Ace Stevens and drag him around the track?
  

Show #11 - "Contains Spoilers"
February 3, 2010 - Klezskavanian Cultural Social Club Society of Seattle, Washington

• Славное культурное празднество!
• Leon Corella если чемпионат большого защищает!
• Досадное белокурое дебил против взрослого детенышей буржуазии: Alexander Davis v. Doug Foster
• Он продолжает рапс для того чтобы повредить нас!

Show #12 - "The Devil Wears Lycra"
February 24, 2010 - Portland, Oregon

• Sirens Championship defended!
• TRIOS CHAMPIONSHIP: TBA (c) v. "Big" Mike Foyer and any two employees on the DCWL roster
  

SUPERCARD: Show #13 - "Cornerstone Revolution V"
Day 1: March 17, 2010 - Toronto, Ontario

• Trios Championship defended!
• DCWL Legends Festival?
  

Day 2: March 18, 2010 - Toronto, Ontario

• Sirens Championship defended!
• Dangerous Championship defended!
• Grand Championship defended!
  

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