FLASH OF THE MOMENT - American Freebear

[Ever since his titanic battle with BOTH Derrick L. Ford and Maurice Thompson at Cornerstone Revolution V, little has been seen or heard from the American Freebear. Thus we actively seek out our Grand Champion back at his home in Florida during the DCWL hiatus, the same home from which we reported everything that we reported on him previously so that we may report on him some more. Or something.]

"Yip."

[He's drinking from one of his German steins. The beer is local, though.]

"That was a pretty good tussle I had with the Thompson feller. Mighty glad I didn't shorten the match or somethin', would've regretted it. Also, the fans would've been peeved too; what kind of hero tells the fans they want LESS for their money? But, yip..."

[Takes another sip.]

"PER-TEE good battle this was..."

[And then he drinks some more... TO BE CONTINUED!]

...


...


[After those misplaced elipses.]

"BUT THE AMERICAN FREEBEAR IS THE ONLY BEAR THAT FLIES, AND HE IS ***YOUR*** GRAND CHAMPIONSHIP CHAMPION (man, that's always a mouthful) THAT RULES THE DCWL WITH EYES OF AN EAGLE AND GIRTH OF A HIPPOPOTAMOUS AND THIS BEAR YOU CANNOT CHANGE, LORD KNOWS I CAN'T CHANGE!!!!!!"

"A-hem."

[sip]

"So while we are having this high-a-tus, I suggest you all relax. Take some friendly Southern advice (the wisest people in the known universe) and take a breather, grow some muscles over them skinny bones of yours and see if you ever approach the magnuficance of the Flyin' Ursine. Meanwhile, I'll be acting like any right good champion would and drink some beers, maybe do some tours for the Mid-South region and generally show you how wrestling is done."

[And just to illustrate his point, the Freebear cracks another beer, pours its contents into his stein and resumes sipping before continuing.]

"And I'll be back soon enough, flying, vaulting, CARTWHEELING over all my opposition like any good Freebear should! Ain't impressed by either Ford, Thompson or Corella, because when you're the only bear that flies, you're impressive enough as it is: I'll crush you all, splatter your guts akimbo and smash you all to pieces and this bear you cannot change- wait, said that bit already. Man, I am getting repetitive! COME AND GET ME, YOU BIG STINKIN' BASTARDS, NOBODY CAN STOP A BEAR THAT FLIES!!

[He sips. Will we ever return to our series meant to discover what man lies behind the big ball of fur known as the American Freebear? That WOULD be a good subject after all... Until then, we know that the American Freebear is still alive and hasn't left the company now that he's got gold around his waist, and that's good enough.]

NEWZ UPDATE - March 28, 2010

NEWZ

• The DCWL on SPW will soon be on the air! This upcoming Ascension, Molly Molotov will travel to Germany to take on homeland favorite Michaela Von Neumann as she makes her DCWL debut! Matches soon to follow are doozies: Buzzsaw will take on Sledge in a non-title bout These two blue collar grapplers have been circling each other ever since Buzzsaw's DCWL debut and next month they will get it on in a title match. Also coming up will be a match between Joe Pansac and Benito Brown. Brown didn't endear himself to Deadman at Cornerstone Revolution V and a match has been scheduled to settle their differences.
  
• Time for a hiring spree! Kyle Hayden's creation of a booking committee has caused a bit of an administrative shake-up and we're seeking applications. Blaze Crimson's promotion has opened up a position of roving interviewer, and Referee #4 is stepping away from the ring to pursue a career where things don't explode. The booking committee itself is looking for a fifth body to fill a vacant seat and cast that all-important tiebreaking vote (if things come to that point).
• Dan Clear is physically unharmed, but from all indications, he's gone into hiding following the incident at CR5 with Joshua Brantseg. As of the date of this writing he is listed on "administrative leave."
• At some point, Joshua Brantseg acquired a manager's license before they became publicly available and he is officially listed as a manager.
• The Danger Drive mentioned taking place at Dangerous Quest is expected to be a hybrid handicap match gauntlet... type... thing. Back in the Old Days, "Demented Quest" would feature similar-styled tournaments and specialty matches of an equally grueling nature. Time to grow some hair on your chest, son.
• Joe Pansac is set to take on the DCWL Grand Champion at Dangerous Quest in a landmine florescent light tube deathmatch. The champion is expected to be American Freebear, who retained in the hour-plus main event of Cornerstone Revolution V. However, Freebear is expected to make one more title defense before DQ, and the committee is looking for top shelf DCWL opponents to impress SPW viewers.
• In addition, Sierra Browne will be defending her DCWL Sirens Championship against Mina Eyre at Demented Quest. A Trios title defense is expected to be announced in coming days as well.
• So why was Jackson Hunter laughing after his crushing loss to James O'Connor? Jax is tight-lipped, but has requested an opportunity to address the situation at Dangerous Quest.
• GRRR Guy has named eight of his students as being ready to be called up to the big time; stay tuned to the blog and message board and you can tell us where they stand on the suck-to-rule scale!
  

GNUS

• Well, here it is: the hiatus. You'll be hearing from me a little more infrequently over the next couple of months as we sort out internets, Googles, etc. I will, of course, keep you up to date on our SPW matches. With no WotW for a little while, I highly encourage you to make use of Them's Fightin' Words. I'm also going to be encouraging one flash per handler per week to appear on the blog; send 'em to the usual address. Keep in mind I'm not going to proofread for you*, so be sure that what you're submitting is WotW-quality stuff.
• When you get booked in to an SPW match, you're welcome to submit a *short* flash in front of the DCWL backdrop. Like the more old school wrestling shows where you have to get your point across in twenty seconds and get out before cutting back to the match. SPW stuff will be cross-posted to the blog as well.
  
• Time to overhaul that stinkin' FAQ! Suggestions on what to include and what to cut are welcome.
• I'm hoping to bring in a few more handlers in to the fray by including managers. In short order I'll be introducing a managerial app so we can get some people to take on the unhandled characters and give them a bit of a push to the Main Roster. If you know any budding Jim Cornettes, Bobby Heenans, Lou Albanos, or (to a lesser extent) Sables, send 'em this way!
  

* Asking me to proofread is like asking Helen Keller what she thinks of your rock opera, anyway. Not exactly a guarantee of quality...


ROSTER CHANGES

• Michaela Von Neumann has been signed to a full Sirens contract.
• Caleb Brantseg / Kalebri Braskovic is now listed as "Revelations 13:1"
  
• Kevin Alloy and Joshua Brantseg have been granted Manager's Licenses.
• Benito Brown has been signed to the Reserve Roster.
• Mad Cow has been demoted to Reserve Roster.
• Mario Speedwagon, Brian Irwin, Kid Way Cool, Paul Doom, Drake Tungsten, and Porno Anderson... FUTURE ENDEAVOR'D! (They are welcome to the Main Roster if signed by a manager.)

FUTURE SCHEDULE (subject to change)

March 31, 2010 - SPW Ascension, s12e3

• Molly Molotov v. Michaela Von Neumann

TBD - SPW Conquest, s12e6

• Buzzsaw v. Logan Braddock (non-title)

TBD - SPW Ascension, s12e4

• Joe "Deadman" Pansac v. Benito Brown

TBD - SPW Conquest, s12e7

• Trios Match - TBA

TBD - SPW Ascension, s12e5

• Grand Championship: American Freebear [c] v. TBA
  

Show #15 - SUPERCARD - "Dangerous Quest"
Late June 2010 - Winnipeg, Manitoba

• GRAND CHAMPIONSHIP - DEATHMATCH!: American Freebear [c] v. Joe "Deadman" Pansac
• SIRENS CHAMPIONSHIP: Sierra Browne [c] v. Mina Eyre
• DANGER DRIVE: Eight men enter a 2-on-1 Gauntlet! One leaves with a guaranteed Grand Championship shot at Plunderland 2K10! The Dangerous Championship will be up for grabs too!
• PLUS! A Trios Championship defense! Jackson Hunter has some 'splainin' to do! Maybe Ace Stevens' garden party he was talking about!

Show #16 - "Showdown in Motown"
TBD - Detroit, Michigan

• Sirens Championship
• Trios Championship
• Dangerous Championship

Show #17 - "Tomorrow Right Now"
TBD - Burnaby, British Columbia

• Grand Championship
• Dangerous Championship

Show #18 - "Ragged Glory"
TBD - Regina, Saskatchewan

• Sirens Championship
• Trios Championship
• Dangerous Championship

Show #19 - SUPERCARD - "Plunderland 2K10: Plunder Hard with a Vengeance"
TBD - Calgary, Alberta

• Grand Championship
• Dangerous Championship
• Many more matches of dubious moral value and hard and heavy weaponry.
  

DCWL #14 - "Cornerstone Revolution 5 (Day Two)" - March 18, 2010 - Toronto, ON

[Backstage, we see a small roped off area.  Inside are a few cushy leather chairs, an ice bucket containing some long necked beers, and a TV stand supporting an LCD HDTV screen.  We see the back of one head in one of the chairs.  We go to a wide shot, revealing the small area guarded by two burly men in black suits, wearing dark sunglasses and earpieces.  The sound of footsteps sends these men into alert as they reach into their pockets.]

VOICE: Gentlemen.

[Into the frame, sporting a white Stetson hat, is reserve roster member Derrick L. Ford.  The security team eases, stepping aside.  As they do, we see a sign on a placard hanging on the rope written in script.]

RESERVED FOR THE SHOOTFIRE PRO AMBASSADOR

[Derrick steps into the setup as the man in the chair rises to meet him - the man himself, Henry Spikes.  They shake hands.]

HS: Mister Ford, a pleasure as always.

DLF: Thanks for the invite.  Nice little area you've got here.

HS: Well, I was thinking about making an appearance, but given that this is Kyle Hayden's last night with the DCWL I figured I'd give him the limelight.

DLF:  While we get front row seats.

HS: Precisely.

[Matching grins.  They sit down, each grabbing a bottle out of the ice bucket.]

DLF: Where's O'Connor?

HS: Representing Shootfire well, defending his Spirit of Wrestling Championship out in San Francisco.

DLF: Eh, whatever.  I don't know why you even hang with that dickweed.  Give me his opportunities in Shootfire and I'd be running the damn place.

HS: Now, Mister Ford, let's not get into such a petty squabble.  After all, this is Kyle Hayden's night.

[A chuckle.]

DLF: Part of me will miss the little bastard, even if the DCWL is better off without him.

HS: Perhaps I will too.

[He raises his beer.]

HS: A toast, then, to Kyle Hayden.  The DCWL won't be the same without him.

DLF: I'll drink to that.

[The two clink bottles, grinning the whole time.  Henry turns on the television as we cut away.]

DCWL Classic - Cornerstone Revolution III: King of Endurance

By 2006, Jackson Hunter had gone from long shot challenger to an institution as Grand Champion. However, longtime rival Mark Haley sought to collect a debt from the champion, and brother Darian Haley, aka Orion, was not far behind. These three individuals would collide in a new match concept called the "King of Endurance," a long form match in which scores were tallied per fall, and the winner would be the first past ten points.

But, like the Cornerstone Revolution main events before, intrigues were brewing after the match...

[Slow fade from black.]

(Out of the black, epic music begins to sound. The ending of Total
Dementia is seen, Alexander Hawkins III defeating Jackson Hunter, and
holding the Plunderweight Championship high above his head. There is a
slight haze over the events as they move in slow motion. But then, AH3
is seen across a black background, arms folded with the Plunderweight
championship over his shoulder, the camera zooms around him dynamically
as another figure comes into view… The Rat. Standing with his hands on
his hips, the Rat glares at the screen from behind his sunglasses.
Soon, behind the two, more figures appear. Tawny Blake, Babyface
Brawler, Celestial Warrior, Maul, Tigress, and Vyolence. As they seem
to march from the background, toward AH3 and The Rat in the foreground,
a familiar tune begins to play.)

# You say you want a Revolution.. #

(The Rat and AH3 slowly turn, gripping their fists, walking toward the
others as if in a big gang fight. The folky tune continues to play as
they walk towards each other.)

# Well, ya know. #

(The screen seems to change, now with Team Hawkins and Team Rat walking
toward each other, as if both are stuck in West Side Story. But the
camera then flashes to see the Tag Team Champions, Guido Milano and
Johnny Detson standing with the straps across their shoulders. Coming
from behind them are Da Ace Killas, armed with action figures.)

# We all want to change the world #

(But the camera spins around once more and now focuses on Naja Takamara
and Curt Olsen, the Platinum Title sitting in between them. Naja lifts
the title up, draping it over his shoulder, but Olsen just looks at him
with a smirk on his face…)

# You tell me that it’s evolution #

(But as the camera takes another dynamic swing into the black
nothingness, it comes back around to see Skye Ashner. He looks over his
shoulder as Evlynn comes walking up behind him, and suddenly the two
are looking at each other in a heated stare.)

# Well, ya know #

(After a moment, The two turn their backs on each other and begin
walking away in slow paces, as if in an Old West gunman duel.)

# We all want to change the world #

(But just as before, the camera spins wildly out of control, but this
time locks in to the stone cold stare of Haplo the Vagabond. He stands
alone in the darkness, arms stretched out as the camera spins around
his impressive muscular build.)

# But when you talk about destruction #

(And as it violently spins upwards, we now see the tattooed scales on
the back of Noah Prejudice. He glares forward while the camera
continues to spin around him. But soon the camera stops over his
shoulder, and he begins to walk forward. Walking towards him in the
same path is Haplo. Their eyes lock in a cold stare as they continue
toward each other until…)

# Don't you know you can count me out #

(Static… The sound of the Beatles’ "Revolution" stops.)

# The Revolution will not be televised. #

(Through the static is the image of the Grand Championship.)

# The Revolution will not be televised. #

(Then comes Mark Haley, walking down an alleyway…)

# The Revolution will not be televised. #

(…and on the other side of the alleyway is Orion…)

# The Revolution will not be televised. #

(In the middle, holding the Grand Championship is Jackson Hunter. Haley
and Orion start walking towards Hunter, who just smirks, motioning for
them to “bring it”. As they near, the screen goes to static, and then
back to black… The Beatles’ tune returns.)

# Don’t you know it’s gonna be… #

(Haley, Orion, and Hunter now stand in the blackness like everyone else
before them. Slowly they begin walking toward a center point, at which
lies the Grand Championship, all reaching it simultaneously. The three
look up from the title to each other, as suddenly yet again see Team
Hawkins and Team Rat walking faster and faster toward each other.)

# Alright! #

(As Team Hawkins and Team Rat meet each other, a brawl breaks out! But
it is consumed by a white light, which now shows us the Tag Champs
again, getting bombarded with action figures! Detson and Guido duck and
cover as they get closer and closer to Da Ace Killas, and when the
reach them… the same white light!)

# Alright! #

(Ashner and Evelynn suddenly turn and rush toward each other, each
other them leaping in the air. They lock arms, as the same white light
appears in between them!)

# Alright! #

(Noah Prejudice and Haplo the Vagabond still remain in a death cold
stare. Both of them stand there, just staring, seething with rage,
hatred for one another. The same white light then engulfs them…)

# Alright! #

(Static once more… We see Jackon Hunter’s face, as Haley and Orion are
closing in on him and the Grand Championship. He smirks before uttering
a phrase…)

“The Revolution WILL be Televised…”

[Black.]

DCWL Classic - Cornerstone Revolution II's Main Event

Taking you back to September 18, 2004. Skye Ashner was the longest reigning DCWL Grand Champion to date, and future Grand Champion Jackson Hunter was making his first main event appearance in the DCWL. It was about respect. It was about sacrifice. It was about who could go to the best-of-three falls...

* Note the appearance of Kyle Hayden's alter ego partway through the match, already practicing his drunk impression.