[Cut to the inside of the arena rather abruptly. About 40 or so wrestlers, crew and staff members are gathered in and around the ring, spilling up the ramp. There's a lot of tension in the air, especially between certain roster members. Now cut to the announce table, where Rich Manning and Christian Chazz are in mid-conversation. Each are munching on ice cream bars.]
CHRISTIAN CHAZZ (CC): --But I don't really blame him for that. I blame the guys who manufactured the suit.
RICH MANNING: (RM): Of course. What do you expect when it's so flammable?
CC: And that's not even the worst part of it. You remember I was wondering what that stain was from? Well it turns out--
[Manning nudges Chazz as he notices the camera. They immediately switch to "announcer" mode, tossing the ice cream bars over their shoulders.]
RM: Good evening wrestling fans watching from SPW, SOW and around the world. Welcome to the DCWL as we present the penultimate show before "Cornerstone Revolution 5." This is "The Devil Wears Lycra." And we're right now awaiting an address from Kyle Hayden.
CHRISTIAN CHAZZ (CC): --But I don't really blame him for that. I blame the guys who manufactured the suit.
RICH MANNING: (RM): Of course. What do you expect when it's so flammable?
CC: And that's not even the worst part of it. You remember I was wondering what that stain was from? Well it turns out--
[Manning nudges Chazz as he notices the camera. They immediately switch to "announcer" mode, tossing the ice cream bars over their shoulders.]
RM: Good evening wrestling fans watching from SPW, SOW and around the world. Welcome to the DCWL as we present the penultimate show before "Cornerstone Revolution 5." This is "The Devil Wears Lycra." And we're right now awaiting an address from Kyle Hayden.
CC: Yeah, and Drake Tungsten brought ice cream bars for everyone.
[Tungsten leans in to the frame, his bleached teeth gleaming through his bronzer-caked face.]
TUNGSTEN: Hey, dudes! They're made from artificial sweetener 'cause the Drake-a-reno's a Type 2 diabetic!
VOICE: OUTTA MY WAY, GYM BUNNY!!!
[A figure stumbles in front of the frame. Pan out to reveal to reveal that it's Kyle Hayden, swinging a 3/4 empty bottle from one hand. Tungsten offer him his ice cream bar.]
TUNGSTEN: Hey dude! I brought ice cream bars for everybodaaaayyy!
HAYDEN: Ohhhh. That'sss very nice of you Drakhhh...
[Hayden takes the ice cream bar and angrily crushes it in his fist, throwing a stick and a bolus of ice cream and cookie to the ground.]
RM: Um... ladies and gentlemen, unfortunately, Commissioner Hayden is apparently in no condition to be holding a meeting as he seems to be quite intoxicated--
HAYDEN: SHUT UP! I'M PACING MYSELF, GRANDMA!!!
RM: Grandma?
[Hayden picks up the microphone at the announce table and addresses the assembled masses.]
HAYDEN: Meeting time! Meeting time! Okay, the reashon I called all of you here in this ring right now this evening is... it's all goin' down, man. The God Complex and Myriad Capital looked down into the farm leagues and saw that it was good and as for me, wellllll, I'm fffffffuuuu-- S.O.L. Anyway, most of youse guys are gonna be goin' to see the bigtime aaaaaaand *hic* we're gonna have nobody left. Soooo... let's go bowling.
[He puts the mic back on the announce table. Deputy Commissioner Satan appears and nudges Hayden back to the table.]
HAYDEN: Oh. Right. Meeting stuff. Okay. So about those random attack backstage last show... I dunno. I did some research aaaaand... I'm stumped. Soooo... let just blame Doug Foster. I don't care if he did it or not... it'sh jusht easy to blame him. Or Jax, or Foyer or whoever. Any of you asses for all I care. Oh, what else? Okay, so we got Big Mike Foyer droppin' date rape drugs inta Leon Corella's protein shakes, and I don't know what. So between these two I've had to fill out mulllllltiple police reports and replace mullllllltiple pieces of equipment 'cause they keep beatin' up my cameras. So ya know what *hic*? One of ya can stay and one of ya can go. Yer match at Corsternone Relvalutshun is gonna settle it. The winner tells the loser where to go. Make yer modifications to the other guy'sh contact. Ya can even let 'em go. And speaking of lettin' people go... We're gonna have a little battle royal at Costernone Revawhatever. Some of yahs guys haven't been pullin' yer weight lately, so we're gonna stick some of the dead weight in to a "Get Outta Dodge" match. Winner gets to stay. Losers go to the reserve roster. Or if yer already on the reserve roster, hit the bricks, pal.
[He takes a large swig from the bottle. The Commissioner is cut off as "Fuel" rips over the PA to a hearty jeer. Walking casually out onto the ramp with a gray suit and his trademark white Stetson hat is the former Dangerous Champion Derrick L. Ford. He makes his way down the ramp while Kyle shoots a death glare at him from the ring.]
RM: Derrick Ford interrupting Kyle Hayden's speech. Not a smart idea after what a big deal Kyle made for everyone to be there on time.
[Ford wedges himself between Joe Pansac and Alton West, indicating that Hayden should continue with his speech.]
HAYDEN: Oh hey Mishter Ewing. Sorry about the Metallica theme song. Been meaning to change that "Never Gonna Give You Up."
[Hayden returns to addressing the masses.]
HAYDEN: Now I know what some o' you are sayin' *hic*. I try, okay? I'm pouring money into this thing and I'm thinkin' that the money from Shootfire's just gonna dry up. Ya know, I work to keep you guys happy and what do I get? "Kyle Hayden's a terrible boss." "No leadership," or stuff like that. I bring back the DCWL because I wanted to make a wrestling league so you guys could be happy makin' a living and you know what I get? I'M WRESTLING'S EQUIVALENT OF MICHAEL SCOTT, OKAY?
[He angrily takes another swig from the bottle.]
HAYDEN: I tell you what.... If me and Deputy Commissioner Gin here are botherin' you guys... then there's not gonna be any more Deputy Commissioner, 'kay?
[This catches Kevin Alloy off guard because a) he seems to be unaware he is to be relieved, and b) that he has been replaced by a 1/4 bottle of gin.]
HAYDEN: No more deputy commissioners. No more Ambassadors. No more Gornevor Gernals. And nooooo more commissioners after Cornerstone Rev, 'kay?
[He sighs and looks to the ground.]
HAYDEN: Maybe... no more DCWL.
[He chuckles joylessly.]
HAYDEN: Well hell, if I'm going down because I was bein' a nice guy, then I might as well have some fun and be a dick on my way out, huh?
[He covers his face with his palm and spins around in a circle. He stops and uncovers his face, looking face-to-face with Referee #4.]
HAYDEN: Get outta my sight, ref. I'm terminatin' you.
[Referee #4 looks shocked and upset. Hayden turns and addresses the crowd.]
HAYDEN: 'Kay, guys. That's the meeting. Lemme know how the show turns out. I'm gonna go throw up. Hit the dang dang dang dang dang.
[Hayden exits. Pan back to the announce table.]
CC: I thought he came off very dignified.
~~~D~C~W~L~~~
~~~D~C~W~L~~~
[Cut backstage to intrepid reporter Blaze Crimson. Standing around her is Joe "Deadman" Pansac, "The Vamp" Mina Eyre, and "Something Better" Wolf Masterson. All are smiling, though the biggest is clearly on young Wolf's visage. Wolf is bouncing slightly while grinning from ear to ear.]
BC: I'm here with Horrorshow, who are about to take on the former DCWL Trios Champions the Annoyed Samoans. But before we get to that match, we have to go back to "Contains Spoilers," where Wolf Masterson scored the pinfall over legend Jackson Hunter and won the Triocalypse blank contract. Ever since you've been pretty quiet. Fans want to know...when, and how, will you use it?
[Wolf takes center stage, almost running over Blaze in his excitement.]
WM: Well first off, I have to tip my cap to Jackson Hunter. It was a thrill fighting in the same ring as a legend like him and an honor to be the one to take that contract from him. As for the contract...
[Joe places a hand on his shoulder. Barely audible is an instruction to take a deep breath. The grin doesn't move from Wolf's mouth, but he at least appears to be stationary and slightly calmer.]
WM: As for the contract, we're confident enough in our ability to beat any team, any time, anywhere, that we don't need to use it on a trios shot. If we fight up to our capability, we will not be denied Trios gold.
BC: So you're using it for a singles match, then?
WM: Look, we're still figuring that out. I'm happy enough to have won and don't mind just holding onto it until I'm sure of the best way to use it. Right now, I'm focused on tonight, and I'm focused on the Annoyed Samoans.
[He steps back to allow Pansac to address Blaze Crimson.]
JP: That's right, Wolf. While Mina and I are proud of what Wolf has accomplished, we've put that in the past. Tonight, it's about Ozzie, Moses, and Offramp. With all due respect to Gabby Rio Paah, they weren't at full strength when we met them the first time. They had to adjust to a new teammate, we didn't. Tonight, we prove that we are the most deserving of a Trios title shot. Until they're beaten, Unique Element represent the best Trio out there. The winner of this bout? They stake an unquestionable claim to second.
BC: What about the New Main Street Killas?
[All three stare at Blaze like she just cursed in church.]
BC: What?
[Mina rolls her eyes.]
JP: As I said, the winner of this match is pretty clearly the second best team in the league and best positioned for the title. So Moses, welcome back. We're glad to see you at full strength. We respect all four of you, but when you step into the ring with us, well...
[He chuckles.]
JP: ...get ready for a real...Horrorshow.
[The team exits.]
BC: Horrorshow versus the Annoyed Samoans, later on tonight.
~~~D~C~W~L~~~
[Cut back to the arena. The wrestlers and staff have vacated the area.]
RM: Welcome back to "The Devil Wears Lycra." Well, it looks like there's going to be shake-up in the management of the DCWL. No commissioner? No deputy commissioner? Are we going to be on autopilot after Cornerstone Revolution 5? Is Shootfire going to step in and take over the company.
CC: I, for one, welcome our new SPW overlords.
RM: As to the matter of tonight we have three titles on the line: Juri takes on Sierra Browne, Josh Curtis takes on Sledge, and Unique Element will be facing The Great Atma, Alton West, and "Big" Mike Foyer. Maurice Thompson will take on Jackson Hunter, Horrorshow against the Annoyed Samoans in trio action.
CC: And we've got a bit of a slaughter up next.
RM: Well, I wouldn't say Killa 187 doesn't stand a chance against an angry and motivated 260 plus pounder. I mean, Killa has pulled out a few fluke victories in his time and B.A. has been inconsistent before.
CC: So, yeah, a slaughter.
~~~D~C~W~L~~~
~~~D~C~W~L~~~
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WINNER - Killa 187 (Roll-up, 22:07)
CC: Killa?!
RM: KILLA 187 WINS!
CC: Killa?! Killa.
[Killa makes a fast exit and scampers up the ramp as B.A. Jive tries to wrap his head around what just happened.]
RM: Killa scores the upset! Again!
CC: Killa.
~~~D~C~W~L~~~
[Backstage, Blaze Crimson holds the microphone to Max Turbo's face.]
BC: Max Turbo, tonight you--
[Before Blaze can even forumlate a question, a boot whacks Turbo across the back of his head and knocks him out. Blaze jumps back as Kid Way Cool takes his place.]
KWC: Hello, Blaze. I'd think you'd rather be interviewing me, hadn't you? Got any questions for me?
[Blaze looks over Kid Way Cool's shoulder and bites her bottom lip.]
BC: Wellll... Kid Way Cool... do you see any Max Turbo fans around here.
KWC: Nope. Don't know what one would even look like. Probably some wet tosser.
BC: How about I describe one to you? Uh... red "GO! Max Turbo" t-shirt, close cropped mohawk, incredibly boxy body, very very angry face...
[The other shoe drops and Kid Way Cool turns around... to see BLUE Matsuyama who possesses a red "GO! Max Turbo" t-shirt, close cropped mohawk, incredibly boxy body, and a very very angry face. He holds Max Turbo up as Turbo weakly points at Kid Way Cool. Pan back to Blaze Crimson.]
BC: So, Kid Way Cool, I'll ask again--
[But KWC is long gone. Pan back to BLUE Matsuyama who has tracked down Kevin "Satan" Alloy. He points in the direction Kid Way Cool disappeared.]
KEVIN/SATAN: Match with him tonight? Okey-dokey.
[Zoom in on the icy eyes of BLUE Matsuyama.]
~~~D~C~W~L~~~
[Aaron Wilson, Gabe Lindsay, and Danny Gunderson stand in the backstage area wearing both pair of their Trios Championships. The FMLA Trios Championships are around their waist, while the DCWL Trios Championships are slung over their shoulder. After finally managing to secure the titles from Da Ace Killaz, they now have their set back together.]
[Danny leans against the wall a relaxed look on his face. In fact, all three seem to be in very good spirits despite their upcoming defense of their DCWL Trios Championship.]
Gabe: If we stick to our game plan, we’ll hang onto these title and we’ll have the opportunity to face any three wrestlers from around the world.
Aaron: That’s what I’m looking forward to; Foyer and the brothers’ West are probably the worst team they’ve put against us so far.
[Danny snickers.]
Danny: I agree, Foyer is too distracted to care, and the West’s are too into themselves to use enough team work to beat us. We just have to stay on the same page and we’ll secure another victory.
Gabe: We’ve got a good thing going boys, let’s not have any set backs. We’ve worked hard since graduating from Vision Quest to this point, and it’s all paying off…
Aaron: The only set back we’ve had is stupid judges at the Arc..If not for that we would have won that tournament.
[Gabe shakes his head.]
Gabe: Don’t remind me about that…
Danny: It’s no big deal; we proved we’re better than Horrorshow. I don’t even remember the last time any of us were pinned..
[Gabe clears his throat.]
Aaron: Oh that’s right against…
Gabe: Moving on, lets not talk about he Samoans.
[Danny and Aaron laugh.]
Danny: We need to get going; we have a set of belts to retain.
[The three walk off talking among themselves.]
~~~D~C~W~L~~~
CC: Killa. I mean, really... Killa?
~~~D~C~W~L~~~
~~~D~C~W~L~~~
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WINNER - Horrorshow - (Mina Eyre d. Offramp Alebua, 19:42)
RM: And Horrorshow are back on track! They're still in the hunt for the Trios Championship!
CC: Yeah, and that Mina Eyre means business, taking on big Offramp like that!
[Pansac, Eyre and Masterson all exchange high fives and congratulations. Meanwhile the Samoans no longer look annoyed, but rather, they look like Depressed Samoans.]
RM: And things cannot get much worse for the first DCWL Trios Champions. They haven't won a match in months. Now, Chazz, you're going to remain professional here aren't you?
[Christian Chazz has cleared the announce position and is now walking from the stage to the ring with a microphone in hand.]
CC: No promises, Rich. Ladies and gentlemen, I'd like to introduce a special guest who has requested some time to speak with us here tonight.
[Pillar's "Throwdown" blares over the PA system. The jeers grow as SPW Ambassador Henry Spikes steps onto the stage, followed immediately by the SOW Warrior Champion "Cunning" James O'Connor. Henry is decked out in his favorite three piece navy blue suit, while JOC is in his ring gear - black leather jacket, black half tights with a single gold stripe running down each leg, black knee pads and black boots. James stomps down to the ring, oblivious to the crowd's displeasure. Spikes seems torn, playing to the audience as best as he can while still keeping up with the Shootfire star. O'Connor dusts his boots before climbing up the ring steps. Both men enter the ring together, with James raising the Warrior Championship over his head in the middle of the ring.]
[BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!]
[Spikes, meanwhile, has taken a microphone as the music dies off.]
CC: Now the last time you two were here...
[Spikes interrupts, then plows through.]
HS: Thank you, Mister Chazz, for agreeing to speak with us here tonight. I know the last time the three of us were in a ring together was...less than pleasant
[The crowd boos lustily. Christian's eyes narrow.]
HS: But it is exactly for that reason that we wanted you to be here with us tonight, to show that on our end, at least, there are no hard feelings.
[Chazz's eyes dart towards O'Connor, who's content to stay back for the time being.]
HS: The first order of business here tonight is indeed official business. As the duly appointed representative of Shootfire Pro Wrestling, it is my honor and privilege to invite the Dangerous Creations Wrestling League to Shootfire Pro's next Pay Per View, Wrestlebowl!
[He pauses for applause. Some cheer, but some remain silent.]
HS: Wrestlebowl has a unique place in Shootfire's history - a place where multiple federations come together to showcase their best. It has always been Shootfire's goal to shine brightest at this event. This year, however, is different. This year, Wrestlebowl is a place where everyone under our corporate umbrella will have the opportunity to show why SPW, DCWL, SOW and NJWF are the best feds out there today!
HS: Now I will leave it to the...
[Cough.]
HS: ...esteemed Mister Hayden and Miss Samantha Bevins to work out the particular details of the DCWL's involvement. Suffice it to say, however, that this is an excellent opportunity for those chosen few to get more exposure, more opportunity, than you could have ever dreamed. SPW's pay-per-view reaches audiences worldwide, to places this company has not seen since its heyday in 2006. This company has earned it's place at the table, and we at Shootfire Pro are happy to have you. While we can not play favorites you can be sure that Mister O'Connor and I offer nothing but our best wishes to the DCWL contingent.
[The crowd's not buying it, actively getting restless over Henry's bull. Christian is unenthused.]
CC: Wow, Henry, that's great. Really. Your best wishes and everything? That's spectacular. After all, I can speak first hand to what GENEROUS overlords you all have been.
[O'Connor asks for the mic, which Spikes bestows upon him with a grand gesture. A small smirk creeps onto his face.]
JOC: Actually, that's the reason we wanted to talk to you. In the last few months since "Death of a Ladies Man," I've had a lot of time to reflect on everything that happened, and I came to a realization. Christian, I'm...I'm sorry.
[The crowd buzzes. About half of them start booing. Christian backs off a step, and takes a look behind him. Seeing only the crowd, he slowly turns back to O'Connor.]
JOC: The wrong that was done to me before the league closed shop wasn't your decision. The DCWL's policy of holding down young competitors in favor of fading former stars wasn't devised by you. And while you have spewed your anti-SPW propaganda, it is clear that you do so at the behest of someone who can't come to grip with his own faults. You are a pawn, nothing more. We chose to make an example out of you for being vocal, when our problem wasn't with you at all. It was wrong, and for that, I want to apologize.
[James holds out his hand, looking to shake. Christian looks at him, looks down at his hand, and looks back again. He speaks slowly, with some hesitancy.]
CC: I'm glad to hear that you came around, James. I'll admit it was more than I thought you were capable of. But no, James, I don't accept your apology.
[CHEER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!]
[James drops his hand, a sneer inching its way onto his face.]
CC: I had a heart condition that almost killed me, forced me into retirement before I was ready. I didn't hide it. Anyone who knew my career knew about it. Whether you knew about it or not, James, I have no doubt that the person egging you on knew my weakness all too well.
[Spikes looks offended.]
CC: So you might be sorry for taking your frustrations out on me, and that's fine. But you still attacked a retired competitor after the bell and made a complete ass of yourself in the process. I could have DIED...but somehow I don't think a punk like you is "sorry" for that.
[The crowd rallies behind Chazz, but O'Connor stares at the DCWL's commentator like he can't hear a thing.]
"CHRIS-TIAN CHAZZ!!! CHRIS-TIAN CHAZZ!!!"
JOC: Oh, so now I'm a punk, huh?
CC: No, you've always been a punk. I'm just calling you on it.
"CHRIS-TIAN CHAZZ!!! CHRIS-TIAN CHAZZ!!!"
JOC: Well this "punk" beat you right in the middle of this ring like you were the bitch you dressed as all those years, and I'm more than capable of going for round 2. Think your heart can handle it? Or is your problem further south?
[BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!]
RM: No, Christian, this is how they got you the last time. Don't make...
[Everything gets cut off by the Motorhead rip-off "Welcome 2 Hell" by Brendan Small. Down the aisle storms possibly-soon-to-be-future-endeavored Deputy Commissioner Kevin "Satan" Alloy.]
KEVIN/SATAN: Satan wants James O'Connor to step off! Satan will take his matches and burn this place to the ground, not to mention letting Myriad Capital know that two of their employees are trespassing! Chazz, you can leave! Spikey Ambassador and Gold Boxers Boy... You guys can get lost too!]
[Chazz walks the short distance back from the ring to the announce table and takes his seat again. O'Connor and Spikes linger, staring down the gorilla in the red devil costume.]
RM: Things seem to be deteriorating rapidly here.
[Spikes steps through the ropes, holding them open for O'Connor. O'Connor's glare remains locked on Alloy, then he moves for the ropes. Alloy then turns to the audience.]
KEVIN/SATAN: Now listen to Satan, and watch closely now. Commissioner Hayden is drunk right now, so that means that Satan is in char--
RM: From behind!
[O'Connor, who didn't step all the way through the ropes sneaks up on the unsuspecting Alloy, wrapping in a rear naked choke! The crowd goes ballistic with jeers.]
CC: That coward! That goddamn coward! I'm sorry, Rich, but I have to...
RM: JACKSON HUNTER!
[Like a blur, Jax slides into the ring and starts wailing on James O'Connor! The hold is broken, allowing his evilness to safely escape the ring under his own power. James shoves Hunter off of him, then rolls out of the ring in record time. The crowd ROARS with approval.]
RM: I don't believe it! Jackson Hunter just saved Kevin Alloy from James O'Connor!
CC: It's about damn time someone stepped up to that snake!
[Jax stands tall in the ring, begging O'Connor to come back and fight. James backs up the ramp, staring shocked at the whole scene. As the shock fades, a wide smile crosses the Cunning one's face. He gets to the top of the ramp where Henry Spikes stands with a microphone.]
HS: Mister Hunter, how nice...
[O'Connor steals away the mic with force, prompting a few scattered cheers from the crowd.]
JOC: No, Henry, this one's mine.
RM: Mine? What does he mean?
[JOC addresses the man in the ring.]
JOC: Have you forgotten what he did to you? What he and Kyle Hayden did to you? They brought this company down with their greed and arrogance, and you were at ground zero for the whole thing. And you defend THEM?
[He gestures towards Henry Spikes.]
JOC: Over the man who supported you after you lost your first Grand Championship and through your second reign? Over the two men who are the reason you are standing in the ring right now?!
[The crowd hushes.]
RM: Did he just say...?
JOC: Who else would throw that kind of money at you to come here? Henry and I got sweet deals from Shootfire...
"YOU SOLD OUT!!!! YOU SOLD OUT!!!! YOU SOLD OUT!!!!"
JOC: You're goddamn right I did!
"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"
JOC: My money, Henry's knowledge of non-profits and anonymous funding...we brought you here as a friend, to wreak havoc on the men who brought us down, held us down, and drowned the company that made us stars. You had as much reason as anyone to want to destroy Hayden and Alloy...and you DEFEND THEM?!!!
[Hunter has borrowed Buckley Luck's microphone and responds.]
JAX: Hey, those two? I don't care for them. What I'm here for is not them. What I'm here for is those four black-and-teal letters that have made me what I am today. The DCWL is bigger than Hayden, Alloy or any one individual on the roster and I am loyal to that more so than any former Commissioner. I don't care if you guys have an ax to grind with the management of this company. What I do care about is the collateral damage you're dealing out to Joe Pansac, to Maurice Thompson, to Leon Corella, to American Freebear, to Sledge and Josh Curtis and all those people in the back to just because you have a vendetta against Kyle Hayden.
CC: Preach it, Jax!
[Spikes looks uncomfortable, but O'Connor's eyes go wild.]
JOC: No, no, I see what's going on here. I know what this is about. You see these letters, the gold of the Grand Championship that you once had, and you start getting a hankering for the good ol' days. The days when this league was your oyster and you and your buddy Curt Olsen could go poking their nose into other people's matches for the hell of it. You miss the feeling of being on top, of peering at us little folk through the glass ceiling, just waiting to stomp down on the first person to peek through.
[Hunter leans over the top rope, a bemused expression on his face.]
JOC: You want to hold me down? Then let the legendary Jackson Hunter try, one on one, at the event that made him a star - Cornerstone Revolution!
[POP!!!!!!!!!!!!]
"JAX! JAX! JAX! JAX!"
JAX: James... Listen to me closely. On the day that I main evented my first Cornerstone Revolution, the greatest Grand Champion ever was Dale Stanwycz. Everyone loved him, and everyone envied him. He loved his family and he loved charities. I had been chasing Dale Stanwycz since 1999. And when the day came for me to face him, I lost and I lost badly and decided to retire and make straight-to-DVD movies shortly after. Later that year, there was a tag team tournament to crown the Grand Champion, where you faced your partner in the finals. And the DCWL knew I wanted that and I wouldn't be able to move on and they saw dollars in their eyes. The DCWL management called up Dale Stanwycz and refused to be my partner. He said that he was done making stars, and that it would hurt his credibility to come back and tarnish his legacy by risking being in the ring with me. Well, I'm not done making stars, James. I still owe the DCWL something. I'll see you in Toronto for Cornerstone!
[ROAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!]
RM: JACKSON HUNTER VERSUS JAMES O'CONNOR AT CORNERSTONE REVOLUTION!!!
JAX: I'll make you look like a million bucks, James. But you better damn well believe that I don't take wrestling in Toronto for the DCWL lightly. I owe the DCWL something, but I owe Shootfire and Henry Spikes and you absolutely jack. So for Juri and Sierra Browne, for Unique Element, for Foyer, for Masterson, for Thompson and Hollywood Panzerotti and Da Killas... I've still got one Main Event calibre bullet in my chamber. Just... watch me.
["Temptation" kicks up over the loudspeakers as O'Connor and Hunter stare daggers at each other. With this, we cut to...]
~~~D~C~W~L~~~
[The scene opens with Logan ‘Sledge’ Braddock sitting backstage. He is wrapping his wrists and tying his boot laces. The DCWL Dangerous Championship belt is resting next to him on the bench. The door cracks open and Logan’s agent, Tim, pokes his head through the door.]
TIM: Are you decent?
[Sledge completely disregards Tim’s attempt at humor.]
SLEDGE: Come in.
[Tim steps into the room, his head hung low. Sledge slowly looks up at Tim and you can see the anger building in his eyes.]
SLEDGE: Awww. If you think coming in here like a puppy that just wet the floor is going to make me take it easy on you…you got another thing coming Timmy.
TIM: I know Logan, I know…
SLEDGE: Obviously, you don’t. First, the DCWL sends me off to defend the Dangerous Championship in the SOW against Spade. Which is all well and good, but you don’t let me know until a few days before…
[Tim just nods his head.]
SLEDGE: And know I see that the DCWL has signed Buzzsaw…and I have to learn about it from the damn DCWL website…
[Tim still nodding his head.]
SLEDGE: You see where this is going Timmy?
TIM: I understand how you…
SLEDGE: You don’t understand shit!
[The vein in Sledge’s forehead is beginning to bulge. He slowly stands up and walks towards Tim.]
SLEDGE: You still represent Buzzsaw, correct?
TIM: Yes.
SLEDGE: And you remember the bad blood between us, correct?
TIM: Yes.
SLEDGE: So don’t you think it might have been a good idea to let me know he was coming to the DCWL?
TIM: I was going…
[Sledge pokes his finger into Tim’s chest.]
SLEDGE: I don’t care what you were going to do Tim. You should have given me a little warning. I was 100% focused on my match with Joshua Curtis…now, now I have to wonder if Buzzsaw is going to leave the past alone, or if he’s going to try to get a little revenge. I thought I let all his crap behind when the CEW closed. But no, here it is again, right in my face. And on the night of one of my toughest matches so far here in DCWL.
TIM: Logan, hear me out…
SLEDGE: Not now Tim. I don’t have time for this.
TIM: Logan, let me…
[Sledge cuts Tim off.]
SLEDGE: Tim, you’ve been a good friend, and a good agent. But, if you don’t turn around and walk back out that door…I will put you through it.
[Tim drops his head back down, turns and walks out the door.]
~~~D~C~W~L~~~
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WINNER - Kid Way Cool - (KO, 11:48)
CC: Did... Did Kid Way Cool just go One Punch Bingo on BLUE Matsuyama?!
[KWC backs off out of the ring like he can't believe what happened as BLUE Matsuyama slowly begins to flutter his eyes, holding his jaw.]
RM: Well, there's going to be some nasty threads posted on message boards tonight, I'll bet.
CC: I'm just starting one now, Rich. Kid Way Cool had no business being in the same ring as Matsuyama. He was getting demolished by BLUE and then he hits one lucky shot. In a fair fight, BLUE would have killed him.
[Matsuyama sits up, eyes glazed. Max Turbo rushes the ring to aid BLUE to his feet.]
RM: Three matches, three wins by the underdog! Tonight is shaping up to be a wild one! And up next, the DCWL Grand Champion is going to be interviewing the man who will be challenging him at Cornerstone Revolution.
~~~D~C~W~L~~~
[We interrupt your current wrestling program to present you with... A FEAST!!!! Camera opens up to a richly decorated table filled with all manners of foodstuffs and victuals, a cornucopia of aliments, a repast fit for the gods! But don't blink: the whole thing is hungrily being eaten up by a bear. BUT NOT JUST ANY OL' BEAR!!!! This is the only bear that flies, the only bear that is YOUR Grand Championship champion... the American Freebear! And as the banner over the table plainly explains, welcome to the Freebear's Big Beef!]
Freebear: That's right all you Portland hillbillies, time for the American Freebear to inject some CLASS into this show!
[He bites a huge chunk of meat from a hambone, slobber flying everywhere.]
Freebear: Since I'm your righteous universally well-respected champion AND a beacon a civility across the forgotten expanses of the Great White North, I figured it'd behoove me or sumtin' to act as a role model for all you stoned potsmokers that are poluting America!!! Why can't ya'all just brew moonshine like we do? I invited a guest for tonight that *LOVES* me the firewater, he thinks he's a challenge for my title... Maurice Thompson-
[Crowd POPS!]
Freebear: Awwwww shut up, I'm the champion! I thought that the only decent thing to do as the only real gennelmen 'ere would be to offer MO-REECE some good ol' Southern Hospitality, invite him to [b]Freebear's Big Beef[/b], where we state what our big beefs are while we gorge ourselves on big beef, but only if Maurice Thompson has the STOMACH to face the American Freebear! HAW!
["We fall, we fall" by Dead Celebrity Status plays through the loudspeakers as the fans all stand in anticipation for the Hidatsu Warrior only to get... An obese cook with his face painted red pushing a Hibachi Bar-B-Que to the set! He's got a smug look on his face and even wears a feather-festooned apron which reads "Hibachi Warrior", something he shows off to all the booing fans.]
Freebear: Just like a Northerner to bring a Japanese bar-b-que to Freebear's Big Beef! You know what meat cooked in there tastes like?
"Maurice": UHG!!
Freebear: That's right! Listen "Hibatchi Warrior", nobody cares what injun tribe you come from or what kinda of fruity vision quest you've been on unless it's to know where you got all your dank! This is WRESTLING, and you're fighting the greatest, mightiest bear currently in competition, the only bear that flies!
"Maurice": UHG!!
Freebear: Looks like I'm ending up fighting the Indian covered in flies, but that's something else! Mo-reece, you can't fight, you sure as Hell can't fly and if it were up to me, I wouldn't even bother with you! As a wrestler, you're just... you're just...
"Maurice": UHG!!
Freebear: That's right! I'll get right to the point: the stoners here who are shaming the great nation of America, they aren't interested in your life story, they don't want to listen to every minute detail of every day of your life, they want to see you BLEEEEEEED! They want to see you suffer, they want to see you get smashed... In fact, they don't even want to see you, just any other guy will do because what those hicks really came to see... is the American Freebear!!!
[Freebear chumps down on a sloppy piece of sauce-covered meat as the fans all boo in unison, with "Maurice" doing a few more "UHG!!"s to the audience.]
Freebear: In other words, they came to get the answer to the question: "What made the red men DEAD?"- Answer: he crossed the one and only American Freebear! The greatest Grand Champion DCWL ever got: much better than any giant Nazi or the overgaming whatever-it-is Leon Corella was supposed to be. When I hit, I hurt. When I slam, people stay slammed and when I fly... I destroy EVERYTHING! At Cornerstone Revolution V, there's gonna be a storm on the loose, skies are gonna get darkened by BEARS and the last of the Mohicans will feel the THUNDER from when an ursine drops on him. So you can say whatever the Hell you want, CUZ NOTHING CAN STOP A BEAR THAT CAN FLY!!!
[And the Freebear get's up to a chorus of boos, with chunks of meat in both hands, biting each of them in turn! We fade to...]
~~~D~C~W~L~~~
CC: Uh, Rich? That wasn't--
RM: I know it wasn't! What has gotten in to American Freebear?
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WINNER - Joshua Curtis - (Roll-up, 11:00)
RM: New Dangerous Champion!
CC: Curtis is still undefeated one-on-one!
RM: Josh Curtis takes home the Dangerous Championship and take nothing away from Sledge.
CC: Yeah, Logan Braddock was throwing BOMBS there at the end of the match, but I think he got too aggressive for one second and it cost him.
[Josh Curtis takes the belt from the match official and climbs the ropes to the cheers of fans.]
RM: In any case, Dark Angel carries the day and he goes home as the seventh Dangerous Cham--
*CRACK*
[Sledge smacks a steel chair across Curtis' back! Dark Angel drops back first to the canvas.]
RM: And now Logan Braddock showing that mean streak of his by being a sore loser!
CC: He burns hot, Manning!
RM: But this is out of line!
[Sledge jabs Curtis in the knee over and over before engaging in a spinning toe hold into...]
RM: Hammer Lock by Sledge!
[The three remaining referees try their best to pry Braddock off of Josh Curtis, but seem utterly ineffective.]
RM: Josh Curtis is the champion, but Logan Braddock is not letting his belt go that easily.
*DING DING DING DING DING DING DING*
CC: Yeah, ringing the bell will help. Why not flick the lights on and off a few times?
[Sledge releases the Hammer Lock, not necessarily because he is forced to, but because he choose to. Josh Curtis writhes on the mat, holding his leg. Braddock picks up the Dangerous belt then spikes it angrily to the mat before stepping through the ropes and making his way back up the ramp.]
~~~D~C~W~L~~~
[We open to the back, the lovely; yet misunderstood Blaze Crimson stands beside “The Native” Maurice Thompson. To everyone’s surprise Maurice has been silent as of late, especially after he made it known that he would not speak of, to, or even acknowledge American Freebear until after his match with Jackson Hunter.]
[Thompson is wearing his ring attire, plus grey “Vision Quest” sweat pants. His upper body looks a bit more defined, due to his newly found gym work ethic. A confident look is on his face as he moves his head from side to side. Blaze nods her head before beginning.]
Blaze: Maurice, tonight you face Jackson Hunter, who surprisingly admits to respecting you. What do you have to say about this match, we haven’t heard much from you lately.
[Maurice takes a breath.]
Maurice: I personally couldn’t ask for a better test before I compete for the DCWL Grand Championship. Jackson Hunter has proved that he has a good amount of talent, and has made his name in indies around America . That doesn’t mean I fear this match against him, or that I am in some way afraid of what he could do to me.
[Short Pause.]
Maurice: I have put in a lot of work to make sure I will be prepared to take the DCWL Grand Championship. With everything going on in my life, it would top everything off as making my life complete. I know deep down inside, Hunter would like nothing better than to take win the Grand Championship one more time. Unfortunately, I’m not going to be his stepping stone.
Blaze: Moving on, you passed on the opportunity to be interviewed by the Grand Champion American Freebear and stated you would not even mention him until you had this match with Hunter. Why?
Maurice: I will comment on that later, right now Jackson Hunter is the only thing on my mind.
[Maurice walks away after nodding his head to Blaze.]
~~~D~C~W~L~~~
[The scene opens upon Alton West and The Great Atma, in full ring gear, sitting at a small card table playing a card game in the locker room.]
ALTON: Got any eights?
ATMA: Nope.
[Alton smacks the table and grumbles.]
ALTON: Damnit!
ATMA: Go fish.
[As the older West brother pulls a card from the deck, in steps none other than Big Mike Foyer, also in full ring gear.]
BMF: Hey, Monkeys!
[The West brothers look to each other and then point to their chests.]
ALTON: ...You talkin' to us?
[Big Mike smirks at them.]
BMF: Get up bitches, you're about to become real champions.
[He motions them forth and the two rise, falling in step behind the big man as he leaves the locker room and enters the main hall backstage.]
ALTON: ...But I already am a champion!
[Atma scoffs at his older brother.]
ATMA: The Maple Leaf Championship doesn't count!
ALTON: YES IT DOES!!!
[Big Mike grumbles]
ATMA: Corella burned it, remember?
[Alton whines noticeably to his brother]
ALTON: Well... um... Canada was so offended that they offered me a new one!
ATMA: No they didn't, you just bought another TV title and put a sticker on it...
ALTON: LIAR!!
ATMA: Am not!
[BMF snarls and turns to face them, pointing a rather thick finger at the both of them!]
BMF: If you two don't shut the f**k up, I'm going to be the only solo competitor to win the Trio's belt, because you'll BOTH be in traction!
[Atma and Alton both visibly stiffened at the threat]
ALTON: Yes sir!
ATMA: Shutting up sir!
[Grumbling under his breath, Big Mike turns only for his eyes to widen with surprise as Leon Corella storms onto the scene! Before he has a chance to react, Leon begins hammering BMF with brutal haymaker-style punches, unleashing his rage! Alton and Atma quickly clear out! We hear commentary from Chris Chazz and Rich Manning as the scene plays out over their monitors!]
CC: Leon Corella finally lays hands on BMF!
RM: The hate and the anger in those punches, Chris. That's a man that's been pushed way too far!
[It quickly transitions into a slugfest as the two men trade blows back and forth. Big Mike quickly bull rushes Leon, shoving him up against a support pillar. There he begins peppering body shots to Corella while holding him in place. Leon responds in kind with a double axe-handle blow right between BMF's shoulder blades, which staggers the big man back a bit...]
RM: Where is security?!
CC: Well, we're at maximum attendance tonight, Security has it's hands full keeping the fans at bay.
[...Leon then quickly follows up with a jumping knee shot right in Mike's face that nearly topples the man over!]
RM: That's the same Knee blow that Leon Corella won his one and only MMA match with!
CC: Clearly it doesn't have the same kind of impact on Big Mike here
[Leon quickly shoves Big Mike through a set of double doors which lead out to the lobby and concession stands outside, several people quickly scattering out of the way...]
CC: Just a reminder to everybody, now would be a good time to grab a snack at the concession stand
RM: Only if they want to see more of the show that is!
[...Big Mike swings at Leon, only to have his attack ducked. He's promptly shoulder rammed right into the snack bar, some of the glass from the display case breaking under their combined weight. The Vendor quickly bolts from the scene.]
RM: That's one smart man right there!
[Leon cracks several fast jabs to Big Mike's face, followed by a few body shots to keep him stunned. He then grabs the back of the big man's head, and slings him over the counter.]
CC: I've never seen Leon Corella just letting it all hang out like this before.
RM: Well remember, Chris, Big Mike has cost Leon alot since he arrived. He's lost his family, and he lost the DCWL Grand Championship to Big Mike's shannigans!
[BMF slowly gets to a half stand when Leon grabs the man by his long, scraggly brown hair with both hands. Suddenly Big Mike hocks a loogey right in Leon's eye, sending him staggering back with a growl of annoyance and pain.]
RM: Oh now that's just wrong!
CC: Right now, Foyer is most likely fighting for his life here, Rich. All bets are off and there are no rules on the table here.
[In a display of incredible strength, Big Mike picks the rather large and full popcorn popper and lifts it over his head! With a roar that catches Leon's attention, he throws it with a violent fury. Leon barely ducks the flying object, popcorn spraying everywhere as it practically explodes against the nearby wall!]
RM: That was a fully loaded Popcorn machine! Big Mike threw it like it was a small child!
CC: I know! This fight is starting to get costly here!
[Gathering up the Vendor's stool, BMF launches that at Corella, followed by popcorn buckets, bagged chips, candies, and whatever else he can grab. Leon ducks and weaves out of the way of each thrown item, closing the distance between the two...]
CC: Swing and a miss with a stool! Remind me never to invite BMF to the company baseball game as a pitcher.
RM: What's the point of this? He's throwing candy at Corella! Candy doesn't stop anything!
CC: It's just a delaying tactic until he can think of something better
[...In another amazing display of strength, Big Mike even picks up the candy display itself!]
RM: OH MY GOODNESS!!!
CC: Now THAT, ladies and gentlemen, is a strong son of a bitch.
[He throws the only barrier between the two directly at Corella. Leon tucks and rolls to the side, a piece of the cart catching him in the shoulder and sending him spiraling off his feet and onto his side. He clutches that shoulder with a groan.]
RM: Leon couldn't get out of the way fast enough!
CC: Even a glancing blow from a large piece of flying metal can take a sturdy fighter off his game.
[BMF moves in on Leon quickly, gathering him up by his hair. Once Leon's to a stand, he nails him with a vicious headbutt that knocks the former champion off his feet!]
CC: Oh and there goes that Steel Plated Headbutt!
[A nearby ladder is gathered from it's perch against a nearby wall by Big Mike. He raises it over his head with evil intentions and swings downward for Leon's head! With only seconds to see what's coming, Leon barely rolls to the side as the ladder makes a loud *CLACK* against the floor.]
RM: Looks like the shoe is on the other foot here now.
[Leon promptly hits a low kick to the back of Big Mike's knee, buckling his stance. He quickly follows up with a high kick that catches the big man by the side of his head, sending him staggering to towards the glass entryway near the ticket booth...]
CC: Not anymore, Leon Corella is moving with a surprising level of coordination and speed here.
[...Corella proves to be the faster man as Mike takes a blind swing that finds no purchase with it's intended target, Leon's face. Ducking around Big Mike, Leon locks on with a rear waist lock. The two struggle briefly as Leon positions his back towards one of the massive glass windows. With a roar born of effort and fury, Leon back bridges, and sends the 358 pound BMF through the glass window with a release german suplex. Big Mike lands on the unforgiving pavement outside, head and shoulders first, and rolls onto one side, clearly stunned!]
CC: OH MY F**KING LORD!!!
RM: BIG MIKE JUST WENT THROUGH PLATE GLASS!!!!
[With evil intentions burning in his eyes, Leon doesn't choose to end this at a logical conclusion point. He marches through the broken window, gathers Big Mike up by his brown hair, and lifts the still dazed man to his feet. Blood streaks down his back and drips from the back of his head.]
CC: Come on man! He's done!
RM: Apparently, Leon's not!
[Corella marches Big Mike down the front steps of the arena, and quickly slings his foe out into the front parking lot. Security spills out of the building in more of an effort to keep the fans back than to stop the brawl itself...]
CC: And there's security, doing exactly as I expected. There are too many fans in and around the arena for them to try and stop this brawl.
[...As he goes to pick him up again, Big Mike staggers Leon with a quick jab to the gut that halts his forward momentum. In a flash, Big Mike's on his feet and already scooping Leon up into a spinebuster position. With a roar, he slams Leon onto the hood of a familiar looking Nissan Cube, denting the fiberglass material in!]
RM: Oh no! That's Kevin Alloy's Nissan Cube!
CC: ha ha, Whatever happens, Leon and BMF will be doing The Devil a huge favor. What kind of Satanic individual drives a Cube anyways?
[From there, Big Mike just starts dropping plates on Leon's face, blow after brutal blow landing uncontested! Leon's lip splits, his nose bloodies, and one eye begins to swell over before Leon halts the assault with a claw rake over Big Mike's right eye.]
CC: Leon barely manages to keep from getting knocked out on the hood of the car there!
[BMF staggers back with a snarl of pain as the fans cheer Leon on...]
Random Fan- KICK HIS ASS LEON!!!!!
RM: The fans clearly supporting Leon in this.
CC: Any reason for them not to?
[...With a grimace of pain, Leon slides off the hood and proceeds to hammer combination punches that send the big man staggering. A split runs across Big Mike's nose, indicating a clear break in cartilage.]
RM: Back and forth this fight goes, but clearly Leon's been the dominant man here.
[Leon then gathers BMF by the shoulder strap and waistline of his doublet, spins him around and LAUNCHES him over the hood of that Cube, sending BMF through the windshield with a brutal crash!]
CC: Good Gravy, I think they will be picking glass out of Big Mike's body for the next several months at this rate!
[He's on him in a flash, Leon grabbing the back of Big Mike's head. Both men still on top of the car hood, Leon begins to grind Big Mike's face into the broken shards of glass, BMF's legs thrashing wildly as he fights to get Leon off!]
RM: He's just grinding his face in those broken glass shards! Leon is just plain sick!
CC: Yeah, sick and tired of being dicked around by Big Mike. Give him Hell Leon!
[After a great deal of effort, BMF manages to throw Leon off, the former Grand Champion landing hard on the pavement with a growl of pain.]
RM: I thought we were supposed to be unbiased and impartial.
CC: No, you're supposed to be unbiased and impartial. I'm the color commentary and I'm allowed to call it like I see it.
[BMF dislodges himself from the wrecked windshield, his face a mess of lacerations and a mask of crimson that runs down to his waist! Placing a palm on the hood of the Nissan Cube, he leans forward to catch his breath.]
RM: Well, Big Mike has managed to get Leon off his back...
[Leon rises to his feet, and has a head on collision with the bottom of Big Mike's boot that rocks him right back down!]
CC: Ouch, and down he goes! You'd think that BMF wouldn't have much gas left in the tank after this.
[BMF Walks towards the downed Corella, gathering him by the throat and lifting him straight into the air...]
RM: Never underestimate this man's strength!
[...He then slings Leon onto the roof of the Nissan Cube. Shortly thereafter, he joins him, gathering Leon up by his hair and the waistband of his tights...]
CC: This can only end in disaster!
[...Just as it seemed he was about to straddle the back of Leon's head, he finds a nasty surprise in the form of a headbutt to the groin!]
CC: BAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!
RM: Leon Headbutted Big Mike in the gonads! Who headbutts a man in the gonads?
CC: Somebody who wants to win bad enough, Rich.
[Leon rises him, grabs the doubled over Big Mike and straddles the back of his head! Hooking the arms, He then whips BMF up and over one shoulder!]
CC: He's going for it!!
*ANTICIPATION POP!*
[With a mighty roar, Leon drives BMF head and shoulders first into the Roof of the Nissan Cube with enough force from their combined weight that the windows actuall crack and bust, the roof partially caving in!]
*HOLY SHIT CHANT FROM THE CROWD!*
RM: GAME OVER THROUGH THE ROOF OF THE CAR!! OH MY GOODNESS GRACIOUS ME!!!
[Leon remains on knee deep in the wreckage for several seconds, breathing in deep and heavy breaths as he stares at the now unconscious Big Mike Foyer. He feels pain surging through his knees and most of his body, but the anger inside him and the rage refuse to let it surface. He leans over BMF, the camera moving in on the two. Leon speaks through ragged breaths, each pause a gasp for air...]
CC: I think this one is official over!
Leon- ...I told you... I told you a long time ago that you didn't want this. Now....
[...He grabs BMF by his jaw, lifting the bloodied mess he called a head up...]
...It is I who will bring suffering... pain... and misery... on levels you could never imagine...
[...Slinging the man's head back, Leon carefully dislodges himself from the wreckage of the Nissan Cube. EMT's rush past him to help Big Mike as he limps towards the back of the arena. He stops and looks back at the fans who cheer wildly for the spectacle they witnessed. Clenching his fists tightly, Leon held his arms out at his sides.]
*HUGE CROWD POP!*
[He then turns, and heads up the steps and back into the building. The Camera focuses now on the EMT's peeling BMF from the wreckage...]
[...To the great surprise of the EMT's and the crowd, Big Mike's head lifts on it's own and he slowly sits up with a growl!]
RM: You're kidding me!!!
[His eyes, however, are glazed over and he didn't seem to have much of a clue where he was. An Ambulance finally came around from the back of the building, it's red and white lights strobing as Security parted the fans to let the vehicle through.]
CC: Big Mike is a tough, brutal man but even he has his limits, which were found here today, at DCWL's "The Devil Wear's Lycra"
RM: Who comes up with these show names, Chris?
CC: Beats me Rich, I don't own the place, just work here and pretend I do.
[The EMT's help load the dazed and injured BMF into the back, promptly closing it up and sending the vehicle off with the pat of a hand.]
~~~D~C~W~L~~~
~~~D~C~W~L~~~
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WINNER - Maurice Thompson - (Natives Unite, 15:35)
RM: Thompson wins!
CC: Man... Jax, baby, hang 'em up. Jackson Hunter's offense consisted of cheap shots. Thompson *dominated* that match.
[Thompson, clearly the crowd favorite, soaks in some cheers from the crowd. He turns to face Jackson Hunter and offer his hand, but Jax is already making his way to the back.]
RM: Maurice Thompson definitely outclassing Jackson Hunter in that match. I'm afraid I have to agree, Chazz. Jax either rushed this comeback or he should have stayed away altogether.
[Thompson looks over the ropes as Jax turns and looks back at the ring, a glum look on his hawk-like face.]
CC: To quote of of Jax's idols, "it's better to burn out than fade away." Maybe now he's realizing the wisdom of that statement. He can't go in soft against--
[Hunter turns around, away from Thompson toward the curtain...]
[...And eats a lariat from James O'Connor!]
RM: "CUNNING" JAMES O'CONNOR! What is he doing back out here again?!
[Jax hits the stage floor like a ton of bricks. O'Connor shoots Christian Chazz a nasty smirk before picking Jax up again and tossing him carelessly at the announce table.]
*BZZT*
[The microphones go out as papers, equipment and announcers scatter. Hunter lies on a heap on the ground. O'Connor makes a quick escape as Maurice Thompson goes tearing down the aisle to chase him away. Jax sits up behind the table, his face now a crimson mask.]
~~~D~C~W~L~~~
[Cut backstage. Alton West is pacing vigorously up and down, while The Great Atma practices pinching his jowels.]
ATMA: So are going to finish the game or what?
ALTON: Dude! We need a partner! We'll finish the game AFTER we win the Trios belts all right?
ATMA: Oh, come on. I'm Atma. I can summon my demonic nature and--
ALTON: For the last time, you're Merton! Not Atma! You're not a mythological demon. You sit in your room at Mom and Dad's and watch Doctor Who reruns!
ATMA: That's it. You are getting SOOOOO poison misted right now...
ALTON: Yeah, bring on the food coloring, boy-o...
[Then a deep, gruff voice from off-camera.]
VOICE: I hear you boys need some help.
[Alton and Atma turn and look at something behind the camera. Then look up slightly.]
ALTON: Um... Y-yeah.
ATMA: Sure. If... that's okay, sir.
ALTON: I'm Alton West... the... uh... Greatest Athlete Who Ever... uh... Lived, and this The G-Great Atma.
[Alton West nudges Atma with his his elbow.]
ALTON: Show him your mist thing...
[Atma is so nervous the green mist is more like a green dribble.]
ALTON: And you would b-be M-m-mister...
[Pan over to reveal a huge man with a crew cut and a scarred up face even a mother wouldn't love.]
BUZZSAW: Just call me "Buzzsaw."
~~~D~C~W~L~~~
21 days...
~~~D~C~W~L~~~
RM: Well, we're back on here, and what an evening it's been already. A new Dangerous Champion, Mike Foyer taken out by Leon Corella, Buzzsaw's first match with the DCWL is in the main event for the Trios Championship, James O'Connor wastes Jackson Hunter.
CC: Mina Eyre beats a man three times her size, Killa 187 sneaks by B.A. Jive, Kid Way Cool defeats BLUE Matsuyama in a TRAVESTY OF JUSTICE...
RM: I'm thinking you're the one most bothered by that...
CC: I know my puro.
RM: And going in to the biggest DCWL event since the last Cornerstone Revolution in 2008, there is a huge leadership vacuum. As to the card itself, it's starting to take shape and we'll be finalizing it by early next week. But what we can tell you is that events are already in motion and matches are being signed at this very moment. What we have heard is that Jackson Hunter will face James O'Connor on Day One of Cornerstone Revolution 5.
CC: Here's one for the old school as well. It's a bit of "look at us now" match. Doom Buster will re-unite to take on the Brains'n'Chains Express! And that actually promises to be great. B.A. Jive and Joe Pansac back together with renewed legitimacy...
RM: ...Buster Brown has been making a name for himself in the Southeast US indies...
CC: ...And Paul Doom... well three out of four ain't bad.
RM: We'll be receiving visitors from the NJWF when the BHC World and BHC Iron Glory Championships are defended... The Trios Championship is on the line, we've just recieved word too, that Maurice Thompson and American Freebear will be having warm-up matches that day! Thompson takes on Leon Corella in a rematch from "Overdrawn at the Memory Bank" in October of last year, and American Freebear's non-title opponent will be named before the end of the night.
CC: And, Manning, that's just Day One!
RM: That's right, Chazz, Day Two will see the Sirens Championship defended as well as the Grand Championship match between Maurice Thompson and American Freebear.
CC: And for the vampires in the crowd, I know you're going to like this... because the match between Corella and Foyer will be one of those barbed-wire-things-exploding deals! There Will Be Blood.
RM: And we saw how explosive things got between Sledge and Josh Curtis over the Dangerous Championship. Well, a rematch has been ordered, and this will be a first for the DCWL. The fifteen-minute time limit has been waived for one night only, and Sledge and Josh Curtis will settle thing inside the steel cage.
CC: First ever Dangerous Championship cage match!
RM: And apparently the New Main Street Killas will be in a special attraction match with a mystery team.
CC: Well, I've heard rumors and these could be the old-schoolers that were being hinted at.
RM: And already announced is the "Get Outta Dodge" battle royal. The DCWL is going to be losing some deadwood on March 18.
CC: It's Cornerstone Revolution, so it's got to be huge.
RM: We're going in to our break in style, but we've still got two championship matches to decide tonight, and the next one is next. The Beautiful Leopard Juri takes on the undefeated Unified Women's Champion Sierra Browne with DCWL female icon Mistress Dandelion as the special guest referee.
CC: So, Rich, why did Mistress Dandelion get appointed as special guest referee?
RM: What I've heard is that she's got something on Kyle Hayden. Although after what took place earlier this evening, I think everyone does at this point. It's time for the Sirens!
~~~D~C~W~L~~~
~~~D~C~W~L~~~
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WINNER - Sierra Browne - (The Truth, 18:20)
RM: Wait a minute, why is Mistress Dandelion looking at Sierra Browne like that?
CC: I must be projecting my fantasies again.
RM: In any case, Sierra Browne retains. Someone needs to step up and cool her off.
CC: Yeah, the trouble is, she just keeps hitting home runs.
RM: And a good effort by Juri, but I think the height advantage-- Wait, Mistress Dandelion's got that stiletto shoe on again--
[Juri gets to her feet and turns around in time to catch a stiletto axe kick to the forehead, slicing her open!]
RM: What is that about?!
[Browne stays in the ring, Mistress Dandelion having failed to raise her hand. Dandy picks up the DCWL and SOW belts and cradles them in her hand. Browne just looks on, befuddled. Mistress Dandelion blows a kiss to Sierra Browne...]
CC: Yep, projecting my fantasies.
[...Then axe kicks her in the face. Browne gets knocked into the corner as Dandy jumps up and down with the belts. Unfortunately for her, Juri is back up, a large gash now in her forehead.]
RM: Uh-oh. That's one Angry Leopard.
CC: Well, no one said Dandy was smart.
[MD begins to beg off before she leaps through the ropes. Unfortunately, it's very difficult to run in stilettos and Juri tackles her half-way up the ramp and begins laying in to the referee to the approval of the Portland audience.]
RM: That, I think was inevitable. Mistress Dandelion wanted to special guest referee to upstage these two competitors and now she's paying the price.
[Just as actual referees start pouring out from behind the curtains, the brawl is joined from two directions. On one side, Sierra Browne attacks anything that moves. On the other, Mina Eyre appears, looking to make a statement of her own.]
CC: It's an all-Siren brawl!
[The referees begin clearing the four Sirens away from each other, with Mistress Dandelion shrieking like a banshee. Cut to...]
~~~D~C~W~L~~~
[Cut backstage, as we see Derrick Ford WALKING. He rounds a corner only to find himself face to face with a very drunk Kyle Hayden.]
KH: Heyyyyy! What was that, huh?
DLF: Beg pardon? What was what?
KH: Doesh "ten minutes before bell time mean anything to you?
[Ford points at the Commissioner.]
DLF: Hey, RATT, it was at your behest I even still have a contract. If it were up to me, I'd have left this sinkhole of paper champions far behind me. But no, you had to play cute and couldn't leave well enough alone. I had a business meeting before I flew in here. Be grateful I came at all.
[Ford turns to walk away, only to be spun around by Hayden.]
KH: Hey! I wanna peruse your report card, mishter.
[Ford mouths "report card?"]
KH: I said, MISHTER, I wanna peruse your report card! You better drop thish attirude, 'kay?
DLF: Or you'll what, you pathetic little failure? WHAT? Fire me?! Please do! Go ahead! You're the one who kept me from quitting! I wanted to leave before and I'm just as willing now!
[Hayden is unmoved.]
DLF: What else will you do? I'm the son of a billionaire, what the hell do I care about fines?
[Ford looks around.]
DLF: And where, may I ask, is your great protector? Just try sending Alloy my way, and I'll make sure little Hot Stuff the devil gets another broken hand. Let's face it, Kyle. You have nothing I want. You can't threaten me with anything.
KH: Okay then... go 'way. Why not go 'way?
DLF: Because what's left? Why would I want to stay? This company DESERVES a washout like Sledge as a Dangerous Champion, to say nothing of the so-called Grand Champion. I mean, Leon Corella was right. What did Freebear ever do to get that title shot? He bitched and he moaned. Before his match with Corella, who had he beaten? Better yet, who had he even faced in a big match?
[Derrick points at himself.]
DLF: Me. Me. I was his great, marquee opponent. I was the Freebear's greatest opponent, and I squashed him like a Freebug. He proved, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that he can't hang in the ring with greatness like Derrick Ford. And there he is, your Grand Champion.
[Derrick leans in.]
DLF: It makes me SICK, Kyle. It makes me goddamn nauseous. He couldn't hang, so he wailed and he roared until you gave the baby his bottle. I can't...I WON'T...be a party to you failing with the DCWL for a second time. I saw the writing on the wall and I left. I'd be gone, too, if you just let me out.
KH: Alright fine.
[Hayden pulls out his Blackberry.]
KH: The hell's wrong with this thing?
[Ford shakes his head; Hayden is holding his Blackberry upside down.]
KH: Oh. 'Kay. Y'know what? I'ma gonna go 'head and book you as Freebear's warm-up match on Day One of Cornerstone. And it's not for the Grand. 'Cause I give Grand Championship shots to RESERVE ROSTER.
[A half smile from the carpetbagging Texan.]
DLF: Go screw yourself, Kyle. No way. I've got nothing to prove against that jag-off.
KH: Oh yeah? Well, I got a little secret for you that you may be innarested in. Come 'ere, come 'ere, come 'ere.
[Hayden reaches up and puts his arm over Ford's shoulder, forcing him to crouch down. they lean in close.]
KH: This is just between you'n'me, okay.
[Hayden looks around suspiciously.]
KH: ...Just between you'n'me...
[He leans in ever closer.]
KH: ...I think I'm gonna be sick again.
[Mercifully, we cut away as Hayden's eyes widen and his alimentary canal starts spasming.]
~~~D~C~W~L~~~
[In front of the DCWL backdrop, is ace (joker) reporter Dan Clear. With Dan Clear is Dan Clear's obnoxiously perfect hair and palpable self-importance. Standing beside him is the newly dubbed Kalebri Braskovic, the ginger haired mountain of muscle in a powder blue, white and orange singlet.]
CLEAR: Klezskavanian superstar Kalebri Braskovic, born under the stifling yoke of Eastern Block rule now stands poised to take American wrestling by storm. For decades Klezskavanians have been perfecting the art of fighting. Forged from steel they train like animals to--
VOICE: There ya are!
[Clear interrupts his melodramatic delivery.]
CLEAR: CUT!
KALEBRI: Sorry, Uncle Dan. What did I do wrong this time?
[From one side of the screen steps the tall, genial, thin man last seen at "Contains Spoilers."]
STRANGER: I've been looking all over for you, Mr. Clear!
CLEAR: Yeah, we're trying to do a segment to get my nephew over as the next big thing in the DCWL, okay. Have someone give you my card; I'm a little busy right now.
STRANGER: Fella, I think you want to talk to me.
[Clear just ignores him and talks to the camera.]
CLEAR: Count me in again. [Pause.] What you mean you're not taping and we're live? Well, we'll do it live... [Pause.] WE'LL DO IT LIVE! SCREW IT! DO IT LIVE... look, I'll write it and we'll do it live! Freaking thing SUCKS!
[Clear storms off in a diva-ish fit. He leaves behind "Kalebri," who looks like a complete fish out of water. The stranger smiles his warm smile and looks at him.]
STRANGER: Maybe I can get through to you, friend.
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WINNER - Unique Element - (Danny Gunderson d. Alton West, Sleeper, 32:00)
RM: UNIQUE ELEMENT RETAINS! The Annoyed Samoans, the New Main Street Killas, Horrorshow, and now Buzzsaw and the West brothers!
CC: That had to have been their toughest match to date! Half an hour of action! That Buzzsaw is a human wrecking ball!
RM: If Buzzsaw didn't already, he earned a place in the DCWL with that match, but Unique Element who carry the day by staying focussed and picking apart Alton West!
[Gunderson, Wilson and Lindsay all take their belts and raise them over their heads as they exit the ring. Buzzsaw just shakes his head, unhappy about losing in his debut. Alton West is already up and nattering away to his ringer of a partner.]
CC: Wait a minute... am I seeing what I think I'm seeing? Is Alton west blaming *Buzzsaw* for losing the match?
RM: Again, no one ever accused Alton West of being the smartest or most humble man in the DCWL...
CC: If it wasn't for Buzzsaw, that match would have been over in the first ten minutes!
[All of West's nattering and hysterics bounces off the Hardcore Icon. Meanwhile, The Great Atma stands behind, hunched over, grabbing the underside of his chin.]
CC: Are you kidding? Are they setting him up?
[Buzzsaw turns around.]
RM: POISON MIST FROM ATMA!
[...Which disperses harmlessly into Buzzsaw's shirtfront.]
CC: Well, someone made a miscalculation.
[Atma and Alton both start to beg off, pleading for Buzzsaw's mercy. The crowd, however, egg Buzzsaw on to action.]
*SMACK*
RM: Double lariat to Alton West and the Great Atma!
[Buzzsaw shakes his head and exits the ring.]
RM: That's all from "The Devil Wears Lycra," fans! We're a scant 21 days from Cornerstone Revolution V! Freebear versus Thompson! Corella versus Foyer! Sledge versus Curtis! Hunter versus O'Connor! For Christian Chazz, Blaze Crimson and Dan Clear, I'm Rich Manning, we'll see you at CR5!
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