MINI UPDATE - April 23, 2010

• The DCWL made their debut appearance on Shootfire Pro! Check it out here: http://www.shootfireworld.com/ascension-season1-episode3.php
• Up next on SPW Conquest, DCWL Dangerous Champion Sledge will take on Buzzsaw in a non-title match on the May 3rd Conquest, and Number One Contender Joe "Deadman" Pansac will take on Benito Brown on the May 6th Ascension. If you wish, you may send in a short (like thirty seconds of screen time) flash. Because the big move for me is going to be a week today, let's make the deadline Tuesday, 11:59 pm MST.
• Elsewhere, Mina "The Vamp" Eyre will be representing the DCWL in the annual Angels and Amazons event, in which thirty of the top female athletes in the world compete for the ultimate bragging rights. Last year's event was won by former DCWL and current SPW wrestler Erica Toughill. Molly Molotov, Gabrielle RioPaah and Mistress Dandelion have all expressed interest in entering the event, and the DCWL is encouraging all of our ladies to get out there and kick some people in the face. More here: http://z7.invisionfree.com/JTF_Squaretable/index.php?showtopic=5325
• A reminder that SPW's "Wrestlebowl" is coming up shortly, and our team of Josh Curtis, Leon Corella, Sledge, and Killa 187 will be repping our weird and wonderful corner of the wrestling universe. More info to follow shortly!

e-mail: dcwlwrestling@yahoo.com
http://dangerouswrestling.blogspot.com
http://dangerouswrestling.proboards.com

DCWL on Ascension - March 31, 2010 - Michaela Von Neumann v. Molly Molotov

Jack: But first! Starting tonight, we're going to throw it over to our colleagues from the DCWL. Rich Manning, Chris Chazz... take it away!

[Cut to ringside, where Manning and Chazz are standing, a microphone each. Rich Manning is in your basic dull-as-dishwater play-by-play announcer attire, while Chris Chazz is your highly stylized color man in a button-up Beatle jacket, circa Shea Stadium.]

Rich Manning (RM): Thank you, Jack, and greetings to the fans of Shootfire Pro Wrestling. My name is Rich Manning and this...

Chris Chazz (CC): Guten Tag! Sie greten? Wie wollen eine Auto mieten!

RM: Obscure "Fawlty Towers" jokes are not welcome here, Chazz.

CC: I tried.

RM: Well, fans, tonight we open a new chapter in the DCWL's history as we will now be going on tour with you briefly, and show you what the future of SPW holds. We hope you enjoy tonight's offering.

CC: And if you don't, then get yourself a freaking DVR, guys.

RM: And tonight, it is indeed fortuitous that we are in Germany, as the DCWL's newest signee hails from this country.

CC: That's right, Michaela Von Neumann has just signed a full time contract with the DCWL, but before she competes stateside, she will debut in front of her home country against one our Siren bruisers, Molly Molotov. Sooooo, no pressure, right?

RM: It's MVN, the Silver Bullet taking on Molly Molotov, and it's next. Let's take you to the ring!

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WINNER - Michaela Von Neumann (Roll-up, 21:07)

RM: And a win in Michaela Von Neumann's debut match!

CC: Just as I thought it would go. The Bullet would wear Molotov down and pick her spots!

[The German crowd are eating out of Von Neumann's hand as she climbs to the middle rope and raises her hand, her baby face beaming. Molotov just rolls out of the ring and slinks to the back.]

RM: We would like to thank SPW for allowing us in to your living room and thank you for checking out what the DCWL has to offer. Coming soon, we'll be featuring matches from the 6'7" Hardcore Icon Buzzsaw as he takes on DCWL Dangerous Champion Logan Braddock, and Number One Contender Joe Pansac when we faces Benito Brown!

CC: Back to you, Vik and Jack.

FLASH OF THE MOMENT - American Freebear

[Ever since his titanic battle with BOTH Derrick L. Ford and Maurice Thompson at Cornerstone Revolution V, little has been seen or heard from the American Freebear. Thus we actively seek out our Grand Champion back at his home in Florida during the DCWL hiatus, the same home from which we reported everything that we reported on him previously so that we may report on him some more. Or something.]

"Yip."

[He's drinking from one of his German steins. The beer is local, though.]

"That was a pretty good tussle I had with the Thompson feller. Mighty glad I didn't shorten the match or somethin', would've regretted it. Also, the fans would've been peeved too; what kind of hero tells the fans they want LESS for their money? But, yip..."

[Takes another sip.]

"PER-TEE good battle this was..."

[And then he drinks some more... TO BE CONTINUED!]

...


...


[After those misplaced elipses.]

"BUT THE AMERICAN FREEBEAR IS THE ONLY BEAR THAT FLIES, AND HE IS ***YOUR*** GRAND CHAMPIONSHIP CHAMPION (man, that's always a mouthful) THAT RULES THE DCWL WITH EYES OF AN EAGLE AND GIRTH OF A HIPPOPOTAMOUS AND THIS BEAR YOU CANNOT CHANGE, LORD KNOWS I CAN'T CHANGE!!!!!!"

"A-hem."

[sip]

"So while we are having this high-a-tus, I suggest you all relax. Take some friendly Southern advice (the wisest people in the known universe) and take a breather, grow some muscles over them skinny bones of yours and see if you ever approach the magnuficance of the Flyin' Ursine. Meanwhile, I'll be acting like any right good champion would and drink some beers, maybe do some tours for the Mid-South region and generally show you how wrestling is done."

[And just to illustrate his point, the Freebear cracks another beer, pours its contents into his stein and resumes sipping before continuing.]

"And I'll be back soon enough, flying, vaulting, CARTWHEELING over all my opposition like any good Freebear should! Ain't impressed by either Ford, Thompson or Corella, because when you're the only bear that flies, you're impressive enough as it is: I'll crush you all, splatter your guts akimbo and smash you all to pieces and this bear you cannot change- wait, said that bit already. Man, I am getting repetitive! COME AND GET ME, YOU BIG STINKIN' BASTARDS, NOBODY CAN STOP A BEAR THAT FLIES!!

[He sips. Will we ever return to our series meant to discover what man lies behind the big ball of fur known as the American Freebear? That WOULD be a good subject after all... Until then, we know that the American Freebear is still alive and hasn't left the company now that he's got gold around his waist, and that's good enough.]

NEWZ UPDATE - March 28, 2010

NEWZ

• The DCWL on SPW will soon be on the air! This upcoming Ascension, Molly Molotov will travel to Germany to take on homeland favorite Michaela Von Neumann as she makes her DCWL debut! Matches soon to follow are doozies: Buzzsaw will take on Sledge in a non-title bout These two blue collar grapplers have been circling each other ever since Buzzsaw's DCWL debut and next month they will get it on in a title match. Also coming up will be a match between Joe Pansac and Benito Brown. Brown didn't endear himself to Deadman at Cornerstone Revolution V and a match has been scheduled to settle their differences.
  
• Time for a hiring spree! Kyle Hayden's creation of a booking committee has caused a bit of an administrative shake-up and we're seeking applications. Blaze Crimson's promotion has opened up a position of roving interviewer, and Referee #4 is stepping away from the ring to pursue a career where things don't explode. The booking committee itself is looking for a fifth body to fill a vacant seat and cast that all-important tiebreaking vote (if things come to that point).
• Dan Clear is physically unharmed, but from all indications, he's gone into hiding following the incident at CR5 with Joshua Brantseg. As of the date of this writing he is listed on "administrative leave."
• At some point, Joshua Brantseg acquired a manager's license before they became publicly available and he is officially listed as a manager.
• The Danger Drive mentioned taking place at Dangerous Quest is expected to be a hybrid handicap match gauntlet... type... thing. Back in the Old Days, "Demented Quest" would feature similar-styled tournaments and specialty matches of an equally grueling nature. Time to grow some hair on your chest, son.
• Joe Pansac is set to take on the DCWL Grand Champion at Dangerous Quest in a landmine florescent light tube deathmatch. The champion is expected to be American Freebear, who retained in the hour-plus main event of Cornerstone Revolution V. However, Freebear is expected to make one more title defense before DQ, and the committee is looking for top shelf DCWL opponents to impress SPW viewers.
• In addition, Sierra Browne will be defending her DCWL Sirens Championship against Mina Eyre at Demented Quest. A Trios title defense is expected to be announced in coming days as well.
• So why was Jackson Hunter laughing after his crushing loss to James O'Connor? Jax is tight-lipped, but has requested an opportunity to address the situation at Dangerous Quest.
• GRRR Guy has named eight of his students as being ready to be called up to the big time; stay tuned to the blog and message board and you can tell us where they stand on the suck-to-rule scale!
  

GNUS

• Well, here it is: the hiatus. You'll be hearing from me a little more infrequently over the next couple of months as we sort out internets, Googles, etc. I will, of course, keep you up to date on our SPW matches. With no WotW for a little while, I highly encourage you to make use of Them's Fightin' Words. I'm also going to be encouraging one flash per handler per week to appear on the blog; send 'em to the usual address. Keep in mind I'm not going to proofread for you*, so be sure that what you're submitting is WotW-quality stuff.
• When you get booked in to an SPW match, you're welcome to submit a *short* flash in front of the DCWL backdrop. Like the more old school wrestling shows where you have to get your point across in twenty seconds and get out before cutting back to the match. SPW stuff will be cross-posted to the blog as well.
  
• Time to overhaul that stinkin' FAQ! Suggestions on what to include and what to cut are welcome.
• I'm hoping to bring in a few more handlers in to the fray by including managers. In short order I'll be introducing a managerial app so we can get some people to take on the unhandled characters and give them a bit of a push to the Main Roster. If you know any budding Jim Cornettes, Bobby Heenans, Lou Albanos, or (to a lesser extent) Sables, send 'em this way!
  

* Asking me to proofread is like asking Helen Keller what she thinks of your rock opera, anyway. Not exactly a guarantee of quality...


ROSTER CHANGES

• Michaela Von Neumann has been signed to a full Sirens contract.
• Caleb Brantseg / Kalebri Braskovic is now listed as "Revelations 13:1"
  
• Kevin Alloy and Joshua Brantseg have been granted Manager's Licenses.
• Benito Brown has been signed to the Reserve Roster.
• Mad Cow has been demoted to Reserve Roster.
• Mario Speedwagon, Brian Irwin, Kid Way Cool, Paul Doom, Drake Tungsten, and Porno Anderson... FUTURE ENDEAVOR'D! (They are welcome to the Main Roster if signed by a manager.)

FUTURE SCHEDULE (subject to change)

March 31, 2010 - SPW Ascension, s12e3

• Molly Molotov v. Michaela Von Neumann

TBD - SPW Conquest, s12e6

• Buzzsaw v. Logan Braddock (non-title)

TBD - SPW Ascension, s12e4

• Joe "Deadman" Pansac v. Benito Brown

TBD - SPW Conquest, s12e7

• Trios Match - TBA

TBD - SPW Ascension, s12e5

• Grand Championship: American Freebear [c] v. TBA
  

Show #15 - SUPERCARD - "Dangerous Quest"
Late June 2010 - Winnipeg, Manitoba

• GRAND CHAMPIONSHIP - DEATHMATCH!: American Freebear [c] v. Joe "Deadman" Pansac
• SIRENS CHAMPIONSHIP: Sierra Browne [c] v. Mina Eyre
• DANGER DRIVE: Eight men enter a 2-on-1 Gauntlet! One leaves with a guaranteed Grand Championship shot at Plunderland 2K10! The Dangerous Championship will be up for grabs too!
• PLUS! A Trios Championship defense! Jackson Hunter has some 'splainin' to do! Maybe Ace Stevens' garden party he was talking about!

Show #16 - "Showdown in Motown"
TBD - Detroit, Michigan

• Sirens Championship
• Trios Championship
• Dangerous Championship

Show #17 - "Tomorrow Right Now"
TBD - Burnaby, British Columbia

• Grand Championship
• Dangerous Championship

Show #18 - "Ragged Glory"
TBD - Regina, Saskatchewan

• Sirens Championship
• Trios Championship
• Dangerous Championship

Show #19 - SUPERCARD - "Plunderland 2K10: Plunder Hard with a Vengeance"
TBD - Calgary, Alberta

• Grand Championship
• Dangerous Championship
• Many more matches of dubious moral value and hard and heavy weaponry.
  

DCWL #14 - "Cornerstone Revolution 5 (Day Two)" - March 18, 2010 - Toronto, ON

[Backstage, we see a small roped off area.  Inside are a few cushy leather chairs, an ice bucket containing some long necked beers, and a TV stand supporting an LCD HDTV screen.  We see the back of one head in one of the chairs.  We go to a wide shot, revealing the small area guarded by two burly men in black suits, wearing dark sunglasses and earpieces.  The sound of footsteps sends these men into alert as they reach into their pockets.]

VOICE: Gentlemen.

[Into the frame, sporting a white Stetson hat, is reserve roster member Derrick L. Ford.  The security team eases, stepping aside.  As they do, we see a sign on a placard hanging on the rope written in script.]

RESERVED FOR THE SHOOTFIRE PRO AMBASSADOR

[Derrick steps into the setup as the man in the chair rises to meet him - the man himself, Henry Spikes.  They shake hands.]

HS: Mister Ford, a pleasure as always.

DLF: Thanks for the invite.  Nice little area you've got here.

HS: Well, I was thinking about making an appearance, but given that this is Kyle Hayden's last night with the DCWL I figured I'd give him the limelight.

DLF:  While we get front row seats.

HS: Precisely.

[Matching grins.  They sit down, each grabbing a bottle out of the ice bucket.]

DLF: Where's O'Connor?

HS: Representing Shootfire well, defending his Spirit of Wrestling Championship out in San Francisco.

DLF: Eh, whatever.  I don't know why you even hang with that dickweed.  Give me his opportunities in Shootfire and I'd be running the damn place.

HS: Now, Mister Ford, let's not get into such a petty squabble.  After all, this is Kyle Hayden's night.

[A chuckle.]

DLF: Part of me will miss the little bastard, even if the DCWL is better off without him.

HS: Perhaps I will too.

[He raises his beer.]

HS: A toast, then, to Kyle Hayden.  The DCWL won't be the same without him.

DLF: I'll drink to that.

[The two clink bottles, grinning the whole time.  Henry turns on the television as we cut away.]